She contacts me on face book. She found a recording of his voice from a history project. She laughed and cried when she heard it. She wondered if I would like her to send it to me. I breathe deep. Another recording of his voice. Another piece. Yes. Yes, I would love another opportunity to hear his voice. To listen to my sweet, sweet son. I play the recording. The deep places of my mommy's heart ache. Oh how I miss him. He was so articulate. Always. His first word ex-ca-va- ... View Post
Peanut Butter Pie
Peanut Butter Pie. Sometimes it's what we need. A little baking. A plan. Some sunshine. Sometimes, life is not what we expected We can not give in to the despair and sadness. It fights to pull us under. Threatens to undermine our joy. So, make a pie. Spread some sunshine. Do one thing you know you should. And above all else. Give thanks. Psalm 107:1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. Our hope is not in the temporal things of ... View Post
Monday Musings
He talks about a heart change. About the bubbling that can spew from our mouths; a condition of our hearts. Another speaks of having every thought held captive. And my heart sours. These young people. So many. Once the youth in bible study and youth group. Now parents of small children. And I am taken back to the time when they were younger. How I loved their digging deep; their probing questions. And now here. When they are grown. Digging deep together. This is a gift. I usually teach. Not ... View Post
Those Ancient Words
. The Ancient Words Helping. Spreading hope. Our compass. Guiding and encouraging. Truth. And a reminder in a song. Those words are holy. Handed down through generations. Faithful ones, sharing their journey. Changing us. Molding us into the children we were created to be. The sustenance in my life. Evermore so these past 17 and a half months. When time stopped. The Ancient Word breathing life. Word by word. Though by thought. Reminder by reminder. The Captain at the ... View Post
If He Asks, Are You Willing To Do The Hard Thing?
Most mornings I still wake with a longing for things to be different. The piercing ache still very present. Images of my red head running through my mind. Reconciling the reality. His life here, on this earth, finished. My life continuing. Striving to push against the tide that will threaten to pull me under. 2014 is coming to a close. A year that never held my son. A year we battled cancer. A year we walked on the wings of grace and mercy of friends and community. A year where the God of ... View Post
For 17 Months Our Hearts Have Been Held By; God, A Community and Family, We Are So Grateful
A silent, still night. The ache remains. Even after 17 months. 2 birthday's. 2 Christmases. And much in between. A loneliness along with the ache. I have lost my child. Our family so changed. And sometimes I feel lonely. I feel like I was part way through a really great book, one I have loved to read. And now the rest of the book is gone. Never to be finished. Year One, you are numb when you decorate the Christmas Tree. The Ornaments, they leave you gasping ... View Post
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