It's the 28th. Sunday. 14 months. Months, days, weeks, moments of missing. Days of seeking who God is; who am I in Him. I wake again today to the fight to get up. My soul is heavy. I cry out to Jesus. I just want to burrow in. Sleep some more. My heart; Needs to change There was a double sleep over last night. Church to attend, a rehearsal for a performance. And it leaves me with tears pooling and a heart constricting. There is no milk. The keys to the van are missing. The other car ... View Post
The Least of These My Brethren
He sits at my table. I feed him. Physical nourishment. We feed him the Word. He; the downcast. Broken. Struggling with mental illness. Trying to find his way in this world. He sits at my table. I fight the thoughts that permeate my mind. My son. Buried deep beneath the earth. Not at my table; while this one lives. Why? My son; a hard worker. So young. A lover of God. Gone. And here. At my table the least of these. Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, 'Truly I tell ... View Post
Be Anxious For Nothing
Be anxious for nothing. Only when I have prayed hard? No need to be anxious. When I have saved enough money in my retirement? No need to be anxious. When I have anticipated every problem and am assured that I have done every thing to thwart an issue. Then I do not need to be anxious. When do we not be anxious? What about the time when you haven't prayed? That item left off the list. When something isn't planned all the way through. Is that the time to be anxious? Be anxious for nothing. My son walks out the door. He kisses me. He says he ... View Post
Is There Ever The Right Time?
I brush the dirt away. Dirt from the farm of his years. Splattered on the stone from rain, while it sat on the patio. While we waited for the right time. Is there ever the right time? Is there ever the desire to place a stone at your son's grave? There isn't. This stone. Another gift given by the community. Etched in love by a teammate apprenticing with a Master. A teammate that knows the loss of a brother. Another life taken so soon. The analogy is not missed. We are here on this earth; ... View Post
When The Day Begins
Will the overwhelming feeling ever leave? Each morning before I wake. It is there. I fight for each thought. It is those moments I surrender. I breathe deep. Fear not for I am with you. We will make it through this day together. My God and I. He will give me the strength. He will give me eyes to see beyond the pain. He alone will guide my steps. The ache and pain. I hand over to Him. He will bring good from this mess I see. He is the source for my hope and strength. He is the calm in ... View Post
Sometimes, What We’re Given, Is Not What We Want. Can You Relate?
He cracks a joke. His eyes twinkle. He doesn't smile. He doesn't have to; his eyes always have. He participates in a discussion. He prays. My farmer is feeling better. A weight beginning to lift. Even for a moment. His walk with the Joy Thief long. He has continued to climb those walls; doing the hard work. Nothing will ever be the same. But having a piece of him back is exhilarating. I miss his handlebar mustache. A different thief at work. Radiation and Chemo stealing unknown fragments along the way. Sometimes we don't ... View Post
