How can this be Your purpose? I stare at your picture and I still wonder, how can it be? How can you be gone? I look at your lop sided smile and the ache reaches the core of my being. For a moment I have to catch my breath. All seems to spin wildly. I miss you my boy. I miss you deeply. You were so handsome. So much still to come. I wrestle daily with the missing. Choosing to step each moment in grace. Knowing that God is working his purpose. His purpose for good. Yes. Even this devastating tragedy. Even in this loss. God is working things together for ... View Post
Our Selfish Desires Begin to Wane, as Clearer His Will Becomes
There is a fountain filled with blood Drawn from Emmanuel’s veins; And sinners plunged beneath that flood Lose all their guilty stains. Lose all their guilty stains, Lose all their guilty stains; And sinners plunged beneath that flood Lose all their guilty stains. I sit at the piano. It's been so long. My fingers feel funny on the keys. The framed saying from a friend, now residing with the King of Kings, rests stately on the top of the piano. I think of her. The dying thief rejoiced to seeThat fountain in his day;And there have I, though vile as ... View Post
Even In The Searing Pain; We are Not Abandoned
I want to avoid his room. I haven't been in for a while. Sometimes the weight of the pain is crushing. I bring laundry up the stairs and turn away quickly. I pick up and work for a while. When it's time to go downstairs. I avoid looking. It's been a year. . . and a week. How can I do this long term? How can I survive this piercing pain? Some days it is so hard to function. I am distracted. Unsettled. Sad. Each moment needing to change my focus and reach for more. Seeking the beauty in the ... View Post
It’s The Receiving That Is So Hard
He's here. A man who offered to pray for our family 1600 miles away. He has connections and mutual friends here in the area. He prayed. During those long months of chemo and radiation and dense fog. He prayed; for us. When I could barely put a foot in front of the other. He prayed. He sent encouraging e-mails. A stranger. Now friend. Brothers and sisters in Christ. He wanted to do something. Something for us. We didn't know what to say. And now he's here. How do you say anything when ... View Post
A Broken Pot (Yes Very Cracked) But Not Beyond Repair
The thoughtless words come spewing out. I am angry. My anger is directed at no one in particular. The tender soul of the blue eyed girl receives the brunt. I feel out of sorts. And lashing out is my first reaction. Those words can not be taken back. No matter how deeply I ask for forgiveness. They came out. I Corinthians 13:4-6 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but ... View Post
Sometimes He Does; Sometimes He Doesn’t
She asked for a banana and she was given 92. Just one. That's all she asked for. An impossible situation. She was a prisoner in New Guinea during the war. A missionary placed in a prison camp. Then accused of being a spy. Faith like a mountain. In the cold hard cell, Darlene Deibler Rose gave thanks for the tile. It meant she was out of the dirt. A blessing. She counted her 1,000 gifts right there in the prison cell. A woman alone. Her husband taken from her and gone the way of the saints. She was starving and ... View Post
