My dearest Elijah, It is Sunday Morning. February 28th. It's been 31 months since you breathed your last. I sit here by the fire aching from within. Life continuing its ebb and flow all the while something so not right. It is the pain a parent walks with each moment after a child has been taken. No matter how strong my walk with God. No matter how much faith I have; the pain remains. You are gone. My life here altered forever. I think of the sunrise that Sunday morning. The incredible grace ... View Post
Friendship
She sent me this when the raw, clawed away at my soul. When the fog was thick and the missing of my son crippled my daily intake of breathing. She was my rock. Always there. Encouraging. Leading me to the cross. She made music where there was chaos. And now it's been a year since she has danced on the streets of gold. And I miss her. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I Say In A Whisper, I'll See You Soon, Because It's Not Really Good Bye February 8, 2015 See you soon I ... View Post
Great is Thy Faithfulness Day #9 of Thankfulness
A few months ago I lost something that was dear to me. It was just a material possession so, I let it go. I've lost so much more. Then tonight as I put on a jacket and reached in the pocket. My lost item had been found. A sweet sensation spilled over my being. An unexpected surprise. In gratitude I shared my find. Sometimes we are lost. Looking and searching for that which we can not find. This year has been full of continuing changes. My dad getting new digs in a nursing home, Clarissa graduating and leaving for college, ... View Post
A Love That Transcends Any Hollywood Attempt
Another year has passed. It would have been my parents 48th Anniversary. I call my dad. I don't say anything about the day. I just want to hear his voice. The voice that once steadied me now needs my assurance. He misses me and wonders when I can come visit. I wonder too. It seems the edge I once had has diminished. The trip MA done in a day or several times a month. The thought, now, fills me with dread. My thoughts drift back to last year and since this is a month of remembering. I am re-posting last years thoughts. I am still writing reports. Still working on book work. The beat ... View Post
All That We Can Not See
The Winter is showing all it's glory. Cold, crisp nights with a glorious display in the heavens. Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. There is a peacefulness that settles over the farm at this time of year. A quiet expectancy of Springs awaited arrival. All the work underneath is being accomplished. All that we can not see. So much that we can not see. God is aware of all. He sees the bigger plan. We need to spend time with him, learning to ... View Post
Finding Joy And Grace For This Very Moment
Before I even open my eyes, I feel it. I have a headache and the missing is there. Some days it is not so apparent. But today it will be my constant companion. The deep longing. I want to wriggle out of this skin. I want all that has been lost to be restored. But it can't. The weight of the loss and what the future will hold threatens to pull me down. The hot burning has returned. I make coffee and look at the piles of laundry and book work still needing attention. The floors that need to be mopped, the ... View Post
