5 years, And now. 6 birthdays. He would be 23 this year. I still don't know what to do on the day. I still don't know how to live this life and reconcile the death of my child. So, I write. Streams of consciousness. A desire to wrestle through the ache and the pain. Elijah Todd Davis. September 2, 1995- July 28, 2013 You made me a mom. I marveled at your red hair. At 9.1 oz, 22 inches you were more baby, than new born. After the loss of our first baby, you were a healing balm. My arms were full. My heart grateful. I remember those first days. The change of seasons. Crisp ... View Post
One Month
One month from today. The pitter-patter of rain on the tin, porch roof greets me. I walk from our bedroom and stand in the door way. Soon the coffee pot joins the cadence with its perking. I breathe in the fresh scent of rain. Vermont is so beautiful. We need rain. Just not too much. It's been 5 years since we had too much rain and roads washed out and a whole summer began that washed away so much of my life. It's June 28. I had one month left with my beloved red head, farm boy and I didn't know it. One month. He'd graduated from High School, had the opportunity to go on a ... View Post
Happy Birthday to You!
He's miles away and celebrating his 19th birthday. It's his first birthday away from home. He's had fire watch and been up since 2. Being a Marine leaves little time for celebrations. He's already called. It's nice to be able to communicate. Technology can be a blessing. He arrived into this world fast and furious. 11 minutes from the time we entered the hospital until we held him in our arms. He hasn't stopped since. Energetic. The happiest of children. Inquisitive. Self directed. He would play for hours by himself. He made roads through out my lawn; hauling load after ... View Post
A Visit From Your Son’s Friend
When your son's friend stops over for a visit, it may leave you undone. It might also make your heart swell with remembering. The Thursday before Mother's Day he comes to the door. I didn't know he was in town and he stopped over. My mama's heart weeps. I weep that both his mama and our oldest farm boy call heaven their home. Both missed so deeply. Both gone way too soon. There was much for them both to do and say. Now. They know what we only see dimly. I Corinthians 13:12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I ... View Post
It Snowed. . . Again
It snowed. . .Again. Big fluffy flakes that stuck to the ground. The problem is, is it's April. The end of April-not the beginning. I'd prefer sunshine and warmth. I long to see Spring flowers and buds on the trees. This weather is down right frustrating. Yet no matter where I turn it's beautiful. A clean, white covering. This kind of snow is different. It doesn't last long. Birds carry on their chatter as if to protest the event. Water drips from everywhere. It's too warm to make icicles. I marvel at it all. A fresh new start. No foot prints. . . yet. Clean. Our lives ... View Post
I Step Out on the Porch
I step out on the porch. Winter has begun to release it's hold. I hang the laundry. Piece by piece. I breathe in; longing for Spring. The sky is overcast. The 3 days of sunshine earlier this week were tempting us with it's warmth. I feel heavy today. It's been a fun week. I should feel elated and rested. The kids have been home and their schedules very relaxed. I continue to hang laundry. I hear sirens sounds; louder and louder. I pray. I think about my first born. I breathe in sharply. I must have subconsciously heard those sirens that night. I want to weep. I look at ... View Post
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