When your parents dog, father's sister (your god mother), parents best friend and mother have all died within 10 days and the memory thief has knocked on your father's door. . . and he needs you to get through . . . you can still press on. When you beg God to take your mother because the ravages of cancer have left her lifeless and emaciated, he won't. . . .you can still press on. You can sit in your yard and hold your daughter's beloved dog that has just been hit by a car and beg for him to live, and he won't. He will die in your arms and you will not shed a ... View Post
His Chains Are Gone. . .. He’s Been Set Free
His chains are gone. He's been set free. All he knows is peace and more peace. It is we, who are left behind that need the prayers. We walk the hard road. We have walked the year to a different beat. Longing for a familiar cadence. Not to be. Walking the road of grief; blindsided by cancer. Uplifted by grace of a community. Reminders continually of the strength we need to persevere. The unthinkable has happened. It has been a year of firsts. A year with out my mom a year with out my ... View Post
Live In The Fullness
I fight through these days. The last he had here on this earth. I long for things to be different. Yet trying to step forward each day. Agony. The need to do what you do not want to do. Press on. Remember. Seek joy. Let go. Digging for the strength needed. Only the grace for the day. I settle into all that will never be. He will never be a United States Marine. He will never marry. Our family portraits will never be the same. I don't want to hear the words, "You're healing." Like I'm going to be new again? My son has been torn from me. I will NEVER be the ... View Post
It Is Well With Me. . . .Because Of Him
It's been a year. A year since we were outside harvesting the sunshine for winter. Working together. Spurred on by the holy spirit I went to the barn. 2 kids off at camp. The other 2, with friends. So I went to the barn. To be with my son and my farmer. I wrapped bales. I slowed the process. I wrote on bales. Messages for the dark of winter. I wrote on one bale in particular; which we found months later. When the battle of cancer versus chemo and radiation was waging. I didn't know, ... View Post
Never, Ever Give Up
I climb the stairs. A routine established each night. His door is the first at the top of the stairs. Everything is so quiet. Two are at camp. One in heaven. I make a comment on face book about wanting to keep my kids young. The responses are interesting. No, they say. You want them to grow up and enjoy all they will become. Right now, those thoughts are hard to embrace. When they were young they were all here. They were safe. We have enjoyed the oldest. College. Moving to ... View Post
Do You Know Where You’re Headed?
He had less than a week left. Less than a week to live. Oh how I miss him. How I long to talk to him; to hear his deep, rich voice. What about you: if you had less than a week left? Do you know you're loved? Beyond anything you could ask or imagine. Do you live with purpose and passion? Or has something stolen that passion? He was passionate. He lived life. He grabbed hold of each event with gusto. He lived with an abandon that teenagers live. Never thinking he had a date with eternity in a week. He was making plans. Promises to a ... View Post
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