Today we celebrate. Though that term looks different these days. We are going to celebrate. Last year the celebration hard. The effects of chemo and radiation wreaking havoc. The joy thief taking all. So, today we are going to celebrate my farmer. We will celebrate his last year in this decade. We will step into gratitude as we look back over the past year. A year with no chemo or radiation. Strength gained each day. The joy thief held at bay. James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face ... View Post
Finding The Fullness Of Joy
She's 17 today; this sweet girl that has taught me so much about life. The girl who lost her dog and brother in a 2 week time span. Her Nana 7 months before that. Then the shocking walk of her father through cancer. This girl who walks in strength and grace. Whose smile and laughter light up a room. Her spirit; gentle and soft. A life surrendered to the King of all Kings. Practical like her dad. Free spirited in so many ways. She'll celebrate without her older brother to cheer her on. Her confidant. Her role model. She'll cross another milestone. I fear the ... View Post
All In The Same Moment
This time last year we had been in Maine. We came home. It was so quiet. No white tornado puppy to great us. I had been thinking about our home going and what it would be like. How quickly my son would experience that journey. Each step of every day draws me closer to the anniversary of the day. We attended a Birthday for a sweet One year old. We sang Happy Birthday and she opened her presents. On the TV ran photos of my children when they were little. Pictures of Elijah. His blue eyes ... View Post
I Fear She Will Forget
Today is the anniversary of Davis Farm's first blog post. Little did I know then how this blog would become an outlet for my expression through deep grief and cancer. How I would wrestle with all things eternal. It seems like just yesterday that Gary and the kids went off to the Williston Parade. As usual there had been much activity. It was nice to have a few moments to myself. I can't remember what I did with those moments. I am sure I made an ice cream cake for Eleanor's birthday. I probably wrote the post. But most ... View Post
The Child Who Has Taught Me All About Timing, Is 15 Today
I wake with a start. The pressure strange. I struggle to my feet. The waters of life stir. It's time. I call the hospital. I call my mother in law. My farmer wakes as the alarm rings. His normal waking hour. I let him know it's time. This child already in tune with the milking schedule. With 3 sleeping children in the house, we head toward life. It is quick. We barely make it to the hospital before the final pushes. Fast and furious. He arrives. A surprise. We always ... View Post
Why Do We Hold Our Burdens Tight?
We celebrate my farmer's birthday. The first without Elijah. It is so hard and feels so wrong. We leave the farm. We head to meet Chelsea, Adam and Lilah. We spend time together in a mall. I watch my farmer. What makes my farmer so depressed? Why won't the medicine take effect? It there something metabolically wrong? Something like electrolytes; a quick fix. We go to the doctors. She looks at us. My farmers blood work is good. His body is doing what it should. She tells us what we already know; but forget. We've been through a lot. Grieving ... View Post
