These are words I typed out in the dark of the night this day last year. A heart longing for direction in the midst of grief. A heart that still longs to hear the voice of God. A heart still longing for the pieces to be placed back in the fragile shattered heart. September 10, 2013 What You Are Unprepared For What do you do with the book you find; given to Elijah from Nana on the event of Clarissa's birth? For a moment your heart skips. . .and you are brought back to that day. You can hear the sounds. You can hear your moms voice. You can see your sons excitement ... View Post
How to Unsettle The Unsettling
I didn't get the coffee ready before I went to bed. I had a hard time falling asleep. I was waiting for Clarissa to come home. And then I was restless. I woke to rain; and to a range of negative emotions. Searing loss. A laundry list of tasks to complete. Unsettled. The mundane. Yet isn't it only mundane if I choose? The darkness descends. The enemy is subtle in his ways. He seeks to discourage and confuse. To remind us of our weaknesses. Our tasks are offerings. Gifts. When the mundane creeps in we need to ... View Post
Do You Know Where You’re Headed?
He had less than a week left. Less than a week to live. Oh how I miss him. How I long to talk to him; to hear his deep, rich voice. What about you: if you had less than a week left? Do you know you're loved? Beyond anything you could ask or imagine. Do you live with purpose and passion? Or has something stolen that passion? He was passionate. He lived life. He grabbed hold of each event with gusto. He lived with an abandon that teenagers live. Never thinking he had a date with eternity in a week. He was making plans. Promises to a ... View Post
Carry On
They take the stage. The story about injustice, redemption, and restoration. Grace. A changed life. They tell the story through dance. I marvel at the ease with which the movements flow. These children I bore. Expression through dance. Restoration. We all long for. To be made whole. Justice. Wars begin over injustice. Conflict. Trouble. It takes one to start revival. Prayer. I Thessolonians Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks ... View Post
I Want To Be Present; Right In The Here And Now
They move the drums. They are taking up space they say. The little girls are trying to organize the music room. All that is within me wants to scream. He had set them up. They are the way he had left them. .. that day. The last day he played. The last day he did anything on this earth. The bass drum ring damaged and in need of replacement. We had looked into getting it fixed; that last day he was here. The last day I have felt normal in 8 months. I slowly pull the drum set back out, away from the corner. I fight back tears. I keep my ... View Post
At The Sound Of His Great Name
"Every fear; has no place; at the sound of your great name The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of your great name" ~Natalie Grant This journey is relentless. There is no escape. The weight of grief a daily struggle. I cry out. The enemy flees;at the sound of His great name. Our fears; have no place at the sound of His great name! My anguish and my grief have been conquered. Do you know that power? Have you been washed in the blood? Can you stand on His promises? When your world is shattered and your baby isn't ever coming home; when your mom ... View Post
