I fold laundry and I pray. I pray over each sweet piece of fabric. Each shirt, pair of pants. I hold them close. I pray for this college girl who is home. Home to celebrate the life of her cousin. Taken too soon; in our eyes. This college girl who has lost a brother too. And I make piles. Neat piles. I love to fold laundry. I love the smell. Shirts together. Pants together. Unmentionables together. Neat piles. Clean. Orderly. But I can't ever seem to to get the piles ... View Post
Serve, Sacrifice, Surrender
22 years. 6 children. 1 grandchild. 1 child in heaven. 1 nephew just joined them. 3 of our parents there as well. The one still here dancing with the memory thief. And here we are. Living in the nest where one has flown the coop. Where she fluffs her own nest. Where one has soared to heaven. Where one attends college. The nest has changed. Is changing. And it's hard. Some days it's hard to remember there is joy. Some days it's hard to remember to serve the ... View Post
Until Then. . .
The world has stopped once again. The memory of the deep searing ache prevalent. And now my farmer's sister knows that ache. Another cousin now resides in Glory. The boy who used my tapered candles as num chucks as he danced from one end of the couch to the other while watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Perpetual Motion. Eyes sparkling with boundless energy. Curiosity oozing from every pore. Mischief; the ring leader of the pack of cousins. The first one to laugh. The first one to cry. The first ... View Post
His Room is Still Empty. . .And So Is The Tomb
His room is still empty. I climb to the top of the stairs. It has become cluttered again. . . with stuff. Stuff that isn't his. Extra baggage that doesn't belong there. Our new adventure has consumed much energy. Each time a list complete. . . another, just as long, emerges. Details begat more details. Things we hadn't noticed before, began to come to light. We were taking the time to examine. My quiet time has been filled with me talking. Me requesting. Pushing off time in the ... View Post
The Smell of Dog Pee Pushed Me On
I begin to clean my room. The room I have occupied since my wedding night. The room I have not cleaned since before the accident. Piles of stuff. Dirt. The smell of dog pee. I know it's in there somewhere. Yes. It's gross. And that's what I have been living in. I can barely begin to clean. I can't stay focused on anything. I try. I have help sometimes. A friend who is quiet and gentle comes to be by my side. We clean or organize and then it seeps in again. I hate living like ... View Post
In an Impulsive, Immediate Gratification Seeking Culture. . . I Will Wait
God closed a door. And I didn't like it. He'd already slammed the door in other ways in our lives. This felt like it was just the last straw. I vacillated between anger and trying to trust. Leaning on what I know. . . not on what I feel. Those are hard things. This world throws things into our pathway. At each turn; we choose. We can step into grace. Seeking wisdom in the walk. Trusting in a plan held by a Divine Creator. Or we can let this world drag us down. Bitterness and anger seep in. I started ... View Post
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