30 days of Thankfulness. The air was crisp and the sky so clear. A beautiful fall evening. We walked to see the Pumpkin Glow. For more than 25 years our neighbors have lovingly grown a sea of pumpkins. They carve and display them the night before and of Halloween. Neighbors come out, folks from all over walk to see the sight. It is the start of the season of gratitude. Gratitude- the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. "The quality of being thankful." "Gratitude turns what we have, into enough." The practice of gratitude helps us ... View Post
My Friend, Years From Now
I awoke early that morning. A content, exciting feeling washing over me. I was marrying my friend. It was a good thing too. Our journey would take us through many hills and valleys. Uncharted territory. Christ as our compass. Joined together. Friends. Just a month before he had proposed in a horse barn at the Tunbridge Fair. He asked if I would spend a life time being friends? We would taste bitterness and disappointment. Child birth and child death. 'Til death do you part passed beneath our doors. For richer has not knocked too often. . . poorer has been a constant ... View Post
Having Eyes to See
5 years, And now. 6 birthdays. He would be 23 this year. I still don't know what to do on the day. I still don't know how to live this life and reconcile the death of my child. So, I write. Streams of consciousness. A desire to wrestle through the ache and the pain. Elijah Todd Davis. September 2, 1995- July 28, 2013 You made me a mom. I marveled at your red hair. At 9.1 oz, 22 inches you were more baby, than new born. After the loss of our first baby, you were a healing balm. My arms were full. My heart grateful. I remember those first days. The change of seasons. Crisp ... View Post
It’s So Dry
It's so dry. It rained last night. . . finally. . . and it's still so dry. Spots that are crunchy when you walk. Brown, where there should be green. Dry river banks where there should be water. And I can feel the fear trying to creep in. We're known as the "Green Mountain" State. Yet, in some areas, the green is hard to see. Today, as I walk this farm I am discouraged. Being without a barn all last winter caused us many difficult issues with the cows. Teat ends that froze, now oozing mastitis. Volatile Somatic Cell Counts, PI Counts. . . Heifers that are smaller than ... View Post
Expect the Unexpected.
Expect the Unexpected. That moment when air seems to be lacking. Breathing is a chore. Hot, molten tears press hard. Chaos great. Those moments. The unexpected. I try to reach out. I cry out to God. How did we get here? How? I try to focus on a breath. My chest heavy with grief, too much going on. I don't know how to sort it all out. Sometimes there seems to be no right answer. My heart is weighed down with the things of this earth. We can let life just pile on the pressure if we're not careful. The unexpected. Deadlines, kids, marriage, bills, haying, chores, heat; ... View Post
One Month
One month from today. The pitter-patter of rain on the tin, porch roof greets me. I walk from our bedroom and stand in the door way. Soon the coffee pot joins the cadence with its perking. I breathe in the fresh scent of rain. Vermont is so beautiful. We need rain. Just not too much. It's been 5 years since we had too much rain and roads washed out and a whole summer began that washed away so much of my life. It's June 28. I had one month left with my beloved red head, farm boy and I didn't know it. One month. He'd graduated from High School, had the opportunity to go on a ... View Post
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