How can this be Your purpose? I stare at your picture and I still wonder, how can it be? How can you be gone? I look at your lop sided smile and the ache reaches the core of my being. For a moment I have to catch my breath. All seems to spin wildly. I miss you my boy. I miss you deeply. You were so handsome. So much still to come. I wrestle daily with the missing. Choosing to step each moment in grace. Knowing that God is working his purpose. His purpose for good. Yes. Even this devastating tragedy. Even in this loss. God is working things together for ... View Post
I Will Trust You, Part II, Even in the Desert
The Israelites were asked to trust. To trust God to take them out of a land. To bring them to a land flowing with milk and honey. The problem was. . . They needed to go through the desert first. The barren, harsh, desert. For forty years they wandered. Forty years they waited to see the land promised. For most of those who left Egypt, they never lived to see the Promise. Are you in a desert place? During these desert times, God is ever present. As the Israelite's traveled they were hemmed in by fire and ... View Post
Until it Was Gone
Fear just up and left. I am not kidding. I have felt it living in my bones. Crippling me at times. Needing to grasp and hold on tightly. The moment one of the kids gets into the car. When they are gone for long periods of time. When they want to go to a friends. The constant need for a call; to be in touch. To hear their voice. Secretly wanting them all in the house. In their rooms. Going no where. It has paralyzed me. And I didn't even know it. Looking back, it began the ... View Post
And. . . They’re Off!
It's the coldest night we've had so far. There was much on the farm to be done. Much to do before they could go. To a people in need. There is winterizing the well. Because cows can not live with out water. There are instructions and lists to be made. Nieces and High School students willing to help. To rise before dawn in the bitter cold. To serve. And to think my farmer is letting it all go. He is willing to push aside the anxiety. The fear of something going wrong. To go. To head to a people made in ... View Post
Reaching for More
2016. It's here. With marching orders. Time. Progressing. At an ever increasing speed. Yet constant. Away from all that I know. Further. Towards the unknown. Time. I am glad 2015 is over. 2 dear friends; gone to be with Jesus. A nephew. A father of 4 and a former colleague. Sometimes I can't face the loss. It seems that it comes so quickly. The weight. You feel. For others. But 2015 also held graduation for our now college girl. Visits from ... View Post
This Last Day of 2015 We Will Gather to Mourn and Celebrate a Life
It's been 29 months. Well. The other day. And I could barely get out of my own way. The whole day. The sadness overwhelming. But not for me. Not for my journey. For my Sister in law and her family. For a family in our Community. A father of 4. On Christmas Eve. A beloved husband. And I wept. Repeatedly. For the journey they are on. For a love cherished and honored through the years. Bearing 4 beautiful children. Athletes and scholars. For the wake where they will ... View Post
