Rising early each morning, my farmer heads to the barn. Never complaining. Morning his favorite time. He's never upset to milk alone. He takes his time. Enjoying the quiet. Our children have appreciated this time as well. Moments spent with their father beneath a sea of stars. The chill of the early morning; stimulating. Walking with purpose. Cows to bring to the barn. Wildlife. Unfamiliar sounds. All part of the memory. Our journey to Organic Certification complete. It has been quite an ... View Post
When You Become the Same Age as Your Brother
He's turning 17. That farm boy. The same age as his brother. No longer here. The two so similar. Yet so different. My heart aches. The farm boy is full of ideas. So creative. Full of energy and youth. He loves deeply. Plays hard. Confident. Yet is haunted by the joy thief. He rises to fight. He digs deep to keep two feet planted. He's growing corn; trading vehicles. Making payments on a tractor. Building his future. Yet these things he holds lightly in view of ... View Post
Saying Good Bye is Never Easy
The call came early Monday morning. A week ago. Memorial Day. The catch in his voice. I knew. I hoped it was something else. Some other reason. My brother had called to share that our beloved Dad had journeyed to be with the Lord. Gone; from this earth. That deep ache; the constant pain rubbed raw. Another loss. The walk of grief well worn. The path of gratitude in need of work. I begin the journey to my dad. This time to say good bye. Making arrangements all so familiar. My ... View Post
To Hold the Moment
The petals danced in the wind. Pale, pink blossoms showering the yard. Spinning, whirling. Images of Anne of Green Gables The White Way of Delight flutter through my mind. Delightful visions. This tree. This moment. I want to hold it. The beauty. To behold. If we choose. I may have missed the significance; closed my eyes to what needed to be seen. We dash through life. Event to event. Attempts to numb pain. Create a rush. Rare do we pause; until moments like this; create ... View Post
Reconstructing
Reconstructing. Each day. How to do dinner. What the table looks like. His car in the driveway. All how to live without my son. Each day.Learning. The path. God has ordained. Not my will. But His. And so I learn. While my heart misses. I open my heart to the will of the Father. A young teen plays Elijah's drum set at church. A young man unaware of the story. Playing to Worship. The same God. All for His Glory. So I learn, to trust more. Rest where there is chaos. Quiet when ... View Post
What to do with this Mother’s Day Thing
It's Mother's Day. My mom and my mother in law reside with the King of all Kings. And the one who made me a mom lives there too. And I want to cry. I want to scream and throw a tantrum. It's just not fair. I miss my son. I miss my mom. I miss my mother in law. I have much material for a pity party. A real "whoa is me bash." What good is that? What is being accomplished? Jesus himself had much to complain about. He was spit on, bruised and crucified as a common criminal. Yet not once did he utter ... View Post
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