Davis Farm and Guest House

Vermont Family Owned Dairy Farm | Country Farm Guest House | Family Recipes | Stories of Faith, Love, and Family

Alone; But Not Alone. . .Ever

I am alone.  The house quiet.  It is not a sound I am familiar with; or like.  I wish I could take all those crazy moments when 2 diapers needed changing, lesson plans needed writing, dinner was cooking, and all 6 children were living. . .  and bottle them.  Then pull them out now.  When I feel defeated.  I was created to be a mom.  And I have loved the journey.  I haven't done it well.  My children never had a nursery.  I never had the latest stroller or baby gear.  I never read a parenting book until Chelsea ... View Post

I Snapped The Memory

I wake and I can feel the oppression.  It is heavy.  The weight of loss; the ache.  Sometimes it's so hard to pray.  I don't know what to say.  It feels trivial.  I've said it a hundred times already.  God please be with me. Please, do not leave me.  I pray Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you;  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. I say the verse over and over.  I long for Him to strengthen me.  To hold ... View Post

Dear Elijah

Dear Elijah, Just writing your name warms my heart.  It's been so long since I have heard your voice;  cooked your favorite meals; watched you while you worked;  or listened while you debated the issues of this world.  The farm was visited once again by unmeasurable grace.  A man who walks with bowed knee to the King of Kings, bringing the fullness of Christ once again to this farm.  The hands and feet of Jesus.  The body of Christ.  I watched in sheer wonder as they replaced the porch. A boost. An encouragement. Grace.  It is so ... View Post

Funding A Memorial

We've begun to advertise.  An event.  It's hard to think of it as a celebration.  A Memorial Fund.   A hope.  A dream.  A desire.  A legacy.  A way to help; give back.  Money that will be collected and placed in a fund to grow. We have already begun to give. A College Scholarship.  Donations to the Band and Lacrosse Team. In the future maybe 2 or 3 Scholarships. Maybe Leadership Scholarships for aspiring Military students.  A way to keep his memory alive.  To be the hands and feet of Christ.  Giving.  As ... View Post

I Am Found

Each day I read last years post.  Counting down the days of his life. Searching for meaning.  Something I have missed.  Like an addict looking for a hit.  I want to see something.  I long for just a glimpse.  It consumes me; if I let it.  How I want to touch or feel something connected to him.  These final days of his life.  He would live for 19 more days.  That is it.  I didn't know. My son. Full of hope; a future.  We were mourning the loss of our puppy. Still grieving my mom,  my parents dog,  my dad's ... View Post

I Fear She Will Forget

Today is the anniversary of  Davis Farm's first blog post.  Little did I know then how this blog would become an outlet for my expression  through deep grief and cancer.  How I would wrestle with all things eternal. It seems like just yesterday that Gary and the kids went off to the Williston Parade.  As usual there had been much activity.  It was nice to have a few moments to myself.  I can't remember what I did with those moments.  I am sure I made an ice cream cake for Eleanor's birthday.  I probably wrote the post.  But most ... View Post