The sun has been shining for a few days now! It's been glorious. The first few days it was so cold; the sunshine deceiving. Then, the sunshine brought warmth. The temperature hovered above freezing. Just barely. The sunshine began ever so slightly to melt the snow. A beautiful sound. Water dripping from the roof. But it's not over. Winter still has a grip. The temperature drops and all the melting becomes ice. . . again. We have to be careful of the ice. It lurks often right beneath the freshly fallen snow. Masked by the white. Deceived. There are so many things in our ... View Post
Expect the Unexpected.
Expect the Unexpected. That moment when air seems to be lacking. Breathing is a chore. Hot, molten tears press hard. Chaos great. Those moments. The unexpected. I try to reach out. I cry out to God. How did we get here? How? I try to focus on a breath. My chest heavy with grief, too much going on. I don't know how to sort it all out. Sometimes there seems to be no right answer. My heart is weighed down with the things of this earth. We can let life just pile on the pressure if we're not careful. The unexpected. Deadlines, kids, marriage, bills, haying, chores, heat; ... View Post
When Your Day Goes South
My day started off pretty decent before it went South. Coffee. The Ancient Word. A few moments of quiet. Then the derailing began. Just little things, here and there. I prayed. I tried to surrender each thing. Then I was blind sided. We took a hit here on the farm that we weren't expecting. My flesh reared it's ugly head. I wanted to lash out. My farmer wanted to lash out. But, he, in His wisdom spoke truth. Here we are facing another hurdle. Another slam in the face of all that we've gone through. But you know what? I feel relieved. A burden seems to be lifted. While ... View Post
In the Dark
The icy, wind creeps its way through the old windows. Floor to ceiling exposure to the the cold. We gather blankets from the nooks and crannies of this old farm house. Trying to keep warm. With each blanket we fight against the elements. A struggle to keep winter at bay. With each blanket comes the dark. Warmth comes at a price. I fight to not let that darkness permeate my soul. It is so close. Waiting Patiently. For me to fall. For me to surrender to the dark. To all the pain. To a ... View Post
Fragmented to Repurposed
It's broken. This beautiful mug. It came in a package. From Germany. With love. A college room mate. A friend. Packed a box full of love. It made me laugh and cry. A hug from so far away. But one mug was broken. And it made me sad. Until. . . I held the fragments in my hands. Fragments. Fragmented. The way I feel. Most of the time. In pieces. Broken. Useless. Worthless. Spent. Fragmented. The pieces sat on the farm house ... View Post
