I walk by his room. I lean into the doorway. It's a habit now. I breathe in deep. I softly call his name. I just want to hear it. I long for him to be bustling around late for something. He was always late. Couldn't find what he needed. So much like me. So many days it's the same endless feelings. Desire vs. Reality. Skinny vs Plus size. Clean house vs Messy. The desire to have studied more; the reality of failing. On and on it goes. We can run scenario after scenario of situations where ... View Post
We Don’t Like To Be Uncomfortable. . . But Sometimes Uncomfortable Is Where We Need To Be
They sit in the corner and gather dust. Memories on hold. The beat stuck for all time. I don't know what to do with them. Mostly I stand and stare. While another piece of my heart breaks away. I remember. I try to hear the sounds and feel the rhythms to no avail. They are silenced. It's a new rhythm now. Set in a key and time change I am not comfortable with. There are too many accidentals and I stumble over the melody line. The timbre harsh and abrasive. Some new friends come to visit. Members of the club no one asks for. Further along the ... View Post
This Year; I Don’t Want To Read The Annual Report
Yeah; that moment when the Town Annual Report comes. And you remember being excited because in it was the birth of your child. You save it. You want to remember for all of forever how this important monumental event is captured in the Annals of human history for all to see. Your child; in bold letters was born. You horde extra copies like they are gold, so that your son will know what went on in the town during that time. But now. The Annual Report comes. Your heart sinks; your hands shake; your legs give way. You go cold. It ... View Post
A Challenge To Change
There are 3 days left. We meet with the Radiation Oncologist. I ask her what are the next steps. She nods that doctor nod. Which means; really, we don't know. She tells us we need to wait because the chemo and the radiation will continue it's work. We wait. Then in a few weeks there will be some scans. But really not until 3 to 5 years can we say that it's cured. She then tells us the next 2 weeks after treatments have stopped may be the most difficult. I stare at her with a blank look and think; how? These treatments are ... View Post
What I Learned From The Movie, Frozen
It happens later. After I have watched the film After I have been home; had a night's rest. While the farm house is still quiet. I ponder the movie. I always do. What themes are there? How could this be used in a classroom? What can we learn from this film? It's probably why I rarely go to the movies. This strikes me as I get my coffee. Fear. (I promise I won't spoil the movie) It's fear that drives her away. Fear of what she possesses and what will happen. Fear of the gift she possesses paralyzes her. It is what ... View Post
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