Reconstructing. Each day. How to do dinner. What the table looks like. His car in the driveway. All how to live without my son. Each day.Learning. The path. God has ordained. Not my will. But His. And so I learn. While my heart misses. I open my heart to the will of the Father. A young teen plays Elijah's drum set at church. A young man unaware of the story. Playing to Worship. The same God. All for His Glory. So I learn, to trust more. Rest where there is chaos. Quiet when ... View Post
What to do with this Mother’s Day Thing
It's Mother's Day. My mom and my mother in law reside with the King of all Kings. And the one who made me a mom lives there too. And I want to cry. I want to scream and throw a tantrum. It's just not fair. I miss my son. I miss my mom. I miss my mother in law. I have much material for a pity party. A real "whoa is me bash." What good is that? What is being accomplished? Jesus himself had much to complain about. He was spit on, bruised and crucified as a common criminal. Yet not once did he utter ... View Post
Dear Mom
Dear Mom, So many times I have picked up the phone to call. My heart hurts missing Elijah. Yet you reign with him on high. It was April vacation. I missed our time together. It was always so much warmer at your house. Such a perfect time to be away. We would sit on your screened in porch. How you loved that addition to your home. We'd drink coffee and argue. Goodness we never could see eye to eye on very much; except our love for our Lord. I went to a family baby shower. Your presence missed so ... View Post
More Waiting
She too waits. This sister in law of mine. Sister of my farmer. Who walks the road of grief. It's been six months since she stood at the grave. She waits now for biopsy results. Abnormal normal cells; growth on her thyroid. We are guaranteed nothing in this world. Only God's love. It's the constant. It's truth. There is cancer. In her thyroid. And it feels for a moment that the earth has shifted. Tilted. She tells me a funny joke before she tells me the results of the tests. Much like ... View Post
