This is not my home. No matter the beauty. This is not where we belong. My focus. has to change. Each morning. A shift. It's not about me. God's plan is better. The missing overwhelming. My son. I want him here. Why did God not stop the accident? Why did he not save him? Why was it fatal? I fold laundry. His clothes. Worn by others. I breathe deep. It would be so easy to give up. To just let the darkness consume. The pain. The ache. The work it takes. There is a hole; where he belongs. His ... View Post
Even A Year Later My Grip Remains Strong
A year later we still are haying. The fire on to take the chill off the morning air. The desire of my heart to yield to the heavenly father. The pain still real, the missing still great. Longing to find our way in this world. Wanting to make a difference. Wanting hope to permeate all we do. Thoughts scratched out in the wee hours of the morning. Still ring true a year later. Yet, this is before cancer knocked on our door. It is before I knew what was to be. . . It's Early Morning 9-20-13 I rise while it is still dark. Coffee is made. We are having pancakes for breakfast. I have turned the ... View Post
What Preparations Do You Need To Make To Be Ready?
The frost wasn't too hard this morning. We kept the house warm enough. My farmer turned the fire on before he left. I shudder to think how much propane we have used. We need to be prepared. As winter looms ahead. Wood needs to be cut. Air conditioners stored away for the heat of the summer day. Screens removed and the storm windows placed. All in preparation for winter. My freezer is partially full of summer's glow. Harvesting some of the bounty for later use. Still not quite there with all that needs to be ... View Post
When There’s An Early Frost And No Heat
The steam from the cooking apples warm the kitchen. Soon there will be applesauce. There is going to be another frost. We have no heat in our home right now. I keep the doors closed. I bring in the mums so they won't freeze. We pick the last of the tomatoes on my one plant. I'm such a gardener. The doors to the other end of the house are shut. We are hanging a quilt over the doorway to the hallway that goes upstairs. We need to conserve heat. The down part of a large home. It seems too early to have such a ... View Post
I Said Yes To , Until Death Do Us Part
The air was cool. Chores were done. We headed out. We dressed in layers. We drove almost 2 hours to a fair. Not just any fair. The Tunbridge World's Fair. A place where time stands still. Where cattle are milked. Displays of pumpkins and flowers line every building. Equipment through the generations are scattered around the space. Where smells of roasting corn and fried dough permeate the air. The hum of the rides and the dazzling lights make this place a feast for the senses. We held hands and ... View Post
The Least of These My Brethren
He sits at my table. I feed him. Physical nourishment. We feed him the Word. He; the downcast. Broken. Struggling with mental illness. Trying to find his way in this world. He sits at my table. I fight the thoughts that permeate my mind. My son. Buried deep beneath the earth. Not at my table; while this one lives. Why? My son; a hard worker. So young. A lover of God. Gone. And here. At my table the least of these. Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, 'Truly I tell ... View Post
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