The night Elijah went home to be with the LORD. His bed remained empty. . . and for 10 weeks now that hasn't changed. 10 weeks of leaning against the door frame, breathing in his scent, wondering how this can be. . . How can my son really be gone? 10 weeks of hoping to wake from this nightmare. It was his morning to help with chores. Gary did them alone. There was no power, so he had to hook up the generator. . .by himself. But, that was the only day. For weeks now, friends and family have risen in the early hours to ... View Post
Young Forever
Close to 400 hearts will hold your family close tonight, will stand and applaud the poise of your beautiful daughters and will be present to remember your wonderful son. 30 children will stand behind their friends to show them how much they care. Though your heart is breaking, you are never alone. We love you! Thank you for the privilege you have given us. This is the note I received from one of the directors' prior to last evenings performance. These young people and the directors of the Vermont Youth Dancers decided in September, on Elijah's birthday, that they wanted to do ... View Post
Where Do You Put Your Trust?
The day is dreary. Not like the others this past week. It is hard to get motivated to do anything. My mind wanders and sadness fills my heart. I can't escape the longing that tears me apart. I am running out of recent pictures of my boy to post. This pierces my heart. The finality of all this. I still can't believe he is gone. I can't stay in these emotions. They are temporal and shifty. My hope is in the LORD; and that is where I will put my trust. That is where my focus will stay. I will not give way ... View Post
What Does Peace Look Like Today?
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. Peace. Isn't that what we all want? Trouble in Syria, Government shut downs, irate workers wielding guns. A world gone mad. Where is there Peace? One party against another. . .each one placing blame. Where does one turn? My son is home with the LORD. His body returned to the ground; never to touch or hear his voice again this side of eternity. We wait for a call for ... View Post
Maybe We Will Survive
The reality of our son not being here for the rest of our lives, is weighing heavy on my heart. The missing is overpowering at times. It takes my breath away. I feel as if my heart will break. And really, it has; into a million pieces. . . The pieces are being replaced day by day. Prayer by prayer. But it will never be the same. Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations, The equipment on ... View Post
Prayer
The Sun streams through the parlor window. It casts a brilliant beam. Christiana calls to me to come and see. It is beautiful. Something so captivating about streams of light. (It could possibly be my ADD) What if we could climb that beam right up to heaven, I ask her. Right up to see Elijah. What would be the first thing I would do if I could see him again? I think I would just fall to my knees, too over come. Oh, to touch him, hear his voice, see those blue eyes. And I wonder. . . Am I that zealous to see God? Do I look at every sunbeam and think about climbing right up to heaven ... View Post
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