The house echos without her presence. There is something so desperately missing. The kids say it on the way in. "I miss Nana greeting us at the door, Abbey too." This log cabin; this was her pride and joy. Oh, how she loved her home. She cared for it with a tenderness and love like no one else. She so appreciated everything about this place. She loved being in the country; she loved to sit on her front porch. It's funny to think how different we are. She loved to work and work to make the house so clean and perfect. And then she would sit and read in her chair and enjoy. I ... View Post
The Name Above All Names
Elijah. I just want to say his name. I want to holler through the house; it's time for dinner, or get down here and pick up your things. I want to say his name and hear his voice. I want to buy him a Christmas present and fill his stocking. My soul wishes for this not to be. The deep searing pain resurfacing. The loss permeating all that I do. Oh, how I miss him. Oh, how everything in me resonates that this is wrong. How can the God of the universe, that called all into being, have this be my path? It has been a year since mom died. A ... View Post
Advent: A Season of Waiting and Preparation
When you're in the middle of Advent and you're waiting; longing for Christs return. Longing for anything other than this path. Sometimes the pain is so searing it leaves me dizzy. The magnitude of the loss overpowering. Gary plays a message on his phone and it rips my heart right open wide. His voice. Oh, how I miss it. I knew his voice. I recognized it. I knew his step on the stair. These things a mama knows. And when those things are taken away - ripped right away from this life, it leaves you reeling and teetering for something to grasp. Because the hurt and pain of this world cuts like a ... View Post
