all taken with in a year.
And then a diagnosis of cancer.
There’s been no time to recoup before another loss is experienced.
The sign on the wall by mom’s place at the table says:
I read it as I long for things to be different; as I try to order this new world.
And the care giver tells me she had to take Elijah’s picture from the funeral off the table because it was too much for dad. And the cards that were coming in just made him so emotional.
And I think that’s what it is.
Your focus has to be changed; your vision set on things that are eternal. So, I don’t move the picture. I move myself and all my thoughts back to the only thing that will restore peace.
2 Corinthians 4:8-12
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body.12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
Moment by moment we will walk this journey.
Thanks mom for the reminder.
There’s a call from the hospital. Gary has to have a port put in place for the chemo.
This is news to us, and again memories of mom come flooding forth.
We are on a journey that is relentless in force.
A journey with no respect for time, feelings or schedules.
Yet this is the path God has chosen for us.
This is the journey we will walk and we will walk it in the strength and power given to us
for each moment.
I remember part of song from childhood.
“Don’t worry ’bout tomorrow, just you be real good today,
the Lord is right beside you, and he will guide you all the way,
So have faith, hope and Charity and the blessed Lord you’ll surely please,
How do I know? The bible tells me so.”
I will remain present in this moment.
I seek the grace for each step.
Because my aching heart can not bear the weight.
I have nothing left; and that is when He can do his greatest work.
Lord, I come, I confess
I find my rest
Without you I fall apart
You’re the one that guides my heart.
Lord I need you, Oh I need you.