The call came later than I expected. But it came. I waited. I waited for the kids to come running down the stairs, eagerly asking if school is closed. I waited patiently for a stirring. Nothing. After a while I receive a text. School? I send back an elaborate video explaining, in a sing song voice that school is CANCELLED! Another text comes in. School? I send the same video to that child! And again. . . I wait! I wait for the sound of running on the stairs! The screaming as the realization hits that it's snowed and there's a snow day! I wait for the rush of snow pants and ... View Post
30 Days of Thankfulness, Day #12 I Will Never Forget
Shes asks me a question. We talk about Elijah. Strangely it feels good. I want to talk about him. I know people shy away; tired of the grief. Desire surer footing. My roller coaster of emotions not their cup of tea. Yet, the ache continues and the loss deep. My son. I read through old posts. Posts from the days of shock and fog. How hard this road is . Yet how quickly we're expected to move on. To appear normal. To assume the path, as if nothing has changed. Yet, for me everything has changed. Setting the table, the folding clothes, cleaning, family photos, doing ... View Post
30 Days of Thankfulness, Day #9 Hey There, How Are You Really Doing?
So, How are you really doing today? Really. Are you content? Have you thought about it? When was the last time you sat for a quiet moment? Have you rushed from work to games, to dinner, to bed? Have you had time to even think? Yeah. I think we all get it. A race through time. Days full. Demand high. And we're just thankful to have made it through with little going wrong. I want to break that mode. I don't want life dictating to me my schedule. I've fought so hard against the tide. My soul longs for peace. For family dinners. Spontaneous drives. These over scheduled, ... View Post
30 Days of Thankfulness Day #7 Music
Our family loves music. Different genres. Right now, we love Christmas Music! And before you go judgey, judgey, we're Thankful for Christmas music and so many other things. Everyone in the family sings or plays an instrument or both. My farmer and I met while he was playing music. Most of our courtship involved music. Somewhere along the line that stopped for us. But our kids carry the torch. Music touches the soul; a healing balm, A universal language. It was years before I could touch the piano after Elijah died. Tears would flow as his drums sat in the corner. The silence ... View Post
30 Days of Thankfulness Day#6 Teach Them Well
I am trying to pray more than speak; listen more than share. The youngest a Freshman in High School. Her first school experience. She's advocating for herself. She's witty like her oldest brother. She has a zest for life that is unquenchable. Adventure: she's up for it. Driving an excavator or any equipment; she excels. I love watching her grow. Yet, with each step it's the last. The last freshman year. . . The last kid to learn to drive. I don't want to miss any of it. As a new born I held her longer. I tried hard to imprint on my mind that moment. Knowing ... View Post
30 Days of Thankfulness Day #4 The Choices We Make
The choices we make each day say a lot about us. Coffee perks as I begin to sort out the day before me. Even before I open my eyes, I try to enter into Thanksgiving. My tendency is to whine and complain. It's cold. My bed is warm. Yet, my farmer has already been up for hours. I thank God for my farmer and my warm bed. And so my day begins focusing on that for which I am grateful. The hope which is before us. I pour my coffee and again enter into thankfulness. Choices made. I get frustrated easily. I am quick to point out flaws in someone, or something else. Gratitude keeps ... View Post
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