I woke from the dream. Wracking sobs as I fell to my knees in the kitchen. Sobs that came during the first days as we learned of Elijah's homegoing. The same gut wrenching realization. Piercing. Ache. Reality. Harsh. My pysche must only be able to handle this in my dreams. For when I woke. Truth confronted me. Jeremiah 31:3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. The power of knowing that we are His ... View Post
Do You Ever Fail To See What Is Right In Front Of You?
I was plagued by a debilitating headache yesterday. One that wouldn't let go. It's grip tight. I had time too. My kids were all out of the house. Such a rare occurrence. But I was so unproductive. It took me all day to balance the check book. One item in a long list of tasks needed to be completed. I felt frustrated and annoyed. The last time I experienced a headache that debilitating was 2 days before Elijah met Jesus. It rendered me useless. Driving me to bed - which rarely happens. I remember it ... View Post
Learning Not To Fear The Quiet
The sun shines on the newly fallen snow. It has that sparkle. I sit in my bedroom, in the bay window. The warmth from the sun has been beckoning all morning. I have been so cold. It feels good to be warm. I hold the Ancient Word in my lap. I close my eyes. To be quiet in the presence of a Holy God. No requests. No words. Quiet. No lists. No worries. Quiet. I am still. Yet I fear. I fear what He will say. Since the accident. Since the ... View Post
Whose Shoes Are You Walking In?
He has walked in ripped shoes. Off and on for 18 months. Until they have split along the sides. New ones bought; just not comfortable. So he keeps the old ones. Familiar. He's walked in his brothers shoes, too. On and off for 18 months. But they were too tight. Not his. Not the younger brother anymore. Yet not the oldest either. A hard place to be. A hard age to sort through such complex emotions. Matthew 28:20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded ... View Post
Monday Musings
He talks about a heart change. About the bubbling that can spew from our mouths; a condition of our hearts. Another speaks of having every thought held captive. And my heart sours. These young people. So many. Once the youth in bible study and youth group. Now parents of small children. And I am taken back to the time when they were younger. How I loved their digging deep; their probing questions. And now here. When they are grown. Digging deep together. This is a gift. I usually teach. Not ... View Post
How Will This Story Unfold?
When I wake up in the land of Glory (Lyrics to Big Daddy Weaves, Yours Will Be) What was he thinking when he woke in the land of Glory? My red headed boy. The one who laughed rich. Blues eyes twinkling. Temper bubbling just below the surface as he wrestled with this world. Big strong hands like his daddy. These things. I think on. These things I miss. And with the Saints I will tell my story. Our story. Still not finished. His. So young. Completed. The thought still rips like a knife. Presses hard on my heart. Threatening to pull me under. So I ... View Post
