I dream I am waking him up and he looks at me with those big blue eyes. It is the first time I have dreamed about Elijah since God called him home. It was so real. I woke sad. I fought through the day to focus on that which was positive. To count my blessings. To remember Elijah is with the King of Kings. His work finished here on this earth. He now reigns in Glory. Never to experience pain or hurt. Revelation 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death' or mourning or crying or pain, for the ... View Post
The Wonderful Cross
It's more than I deserve. 2 different places. 3 different testimonies. All affected by 1 life. A life that wasn't perfect. But pointed to the One that is. I listen to Senior testimonies. New beginning's in the horizon. A life hurt by the loss of his friend. July 28, 2013 etched in his young mind for ever. Questions raised throughout the year. Hearts hurting. But the power of the holy spirit was working in his heart. And God's love broke through the barriers and the hurt and reminded that pilgrim along ... View Post
The Hope For Today Lies In the Surrender
The sun rises in its glory. It will be another beautiful day. Such a gift to farmers. Hope. It is 11 months today. 11 months of not my will but thine. A journey I do not want to travel, but must. This place is uncomfortable and unpredictable. I long to change the path. I will for it all to be different. I want to hear Elijah's voice. I long to have my 17 year old be 18. I wrestle fiercely in my spirit. We are not of this earth. This. This is not our home. We are on a journey to eternal life. This path is lived with bowed knee. In ... View Post
Stepping Right Out Of Fear
The rains come. The earth eager for nourishment. The sound triggers memories. All senses alert. These are the pre-death days. Each moment so vivid. Such technicolor. Each night I fight against the jagged thoughts. The waking from sleep. The flashlights playing on my window. The knocking on the door. The deep dark. Knowing something is not right. The air conditioner. Off. No lights. It all threatens to tear at me. Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be ... View Post
Is There Ever The Right Time?
I brush the dirt away. Dirt from the farm of his years. Splattered on the stone from rain, while it sat on the patio. While we waited for the right time. Is there ever the right time? Is there ever the desire to place a stone at your son's grave? There isn't. This stone. Another gift given by the community. Etched in love by a teammate apprenticing with a Master. A teammate that knows the loss of a brother. Another life taken so soon. The analogy is not missed. We are here on this earth; ... View Post
When The Missing Rises Up To Meet Me
The missing rises up to meet me. I drive past the site. The forever slams my soul hard. I try to work through the pain. Shaking my head, I continue to drive. My heart cries out to God. I beg for him to lift the hurt. I want to hear Elijah's voice and cook him a meal. I am tired of his bed being empty. Never to return. I'm tired of hurting and aching; of longing. I say his name over and over. Elijah, Elijah, Elijah. There is something soothing about saying his name. We chose his name. A prayer. A nudging from ... View Post
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