I want to tell you something. Come closer. Good. Look deep into their eyes; memorize the color, every hue that changes with their mood, the lines on their face, the tilt of their grin. The beauty mark on the lip, that caused shaving casualties. . .Memorize the full eyebrows singed many times by the fire. Bathe them in prayer. Run your hand through their thick red hair, or over their nicely shaven one in preparation for boot camp. Hold their hand and run your fingers over the growing, over the stretched skin, now rough from mans' work. . . just because. Remember. Don't ever forget. Listen ... View Post
Oh, How He Loves Us. . . Day # 22 of Thankfulness
How can you be gone? I look at your picture, I want to see you so badly. I want to turn back time, change anything I can. I yearn for this to not be. I long to hear you call me mom. I walk into your room. I just stand there looking around. I remember your crib and then your big boy bed. I remember when Cedric needed to share the room and how angry you were. I think back to the time Caleb gave you your first Lacrosse stick. I want to hear how things are and chat. You're my first born. My boy, my Lijy. It's just so not fair. My heart just can't take it ... View Post
A few things I have learned about a cold bedroom. . .Day #7 of Thankfulness
I have learned a few things over the years about not heating the bedroom: 1. I don't need a wine cellar. It's the perfect temperature. 2. Oil of Olay does not contain water. 3. Oil of Olay does not freeze. 4. Oil of Olay Moisturizer hurts to put on when it is 52 degrees 5.This is not an add for Oil of Olay 6. Never put your clothes on in the bedroom unless you have warmed them first. 7. Your water always stays nice and cool. 8. It is still not cold enough for spiders to die. 81/2. #8 is really important. 9. Make sure you're fully dressed before you freak out about spiders ... View Post
Even in Death The Single Socks Haunt Me. . . Day # 6 of Thankfulness
It's the missing that stops me short. The desire to see him. To chat before he falls asleep. I sit on the edge of his bed. I close my eyes. Oh, how can this be? I shake my head and look around the room. What do I do now? Pack up all his things? Relegate his life to a box? My weary heart is not ready for this. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. I pick up the pile ... View Post
Now He Has Perfect Sight. . . Day #2 of Thankfulness
I climb into bed. I am so tired. My spirit is deflated. The house is a mess. There is food on the counter. The floors have not been mopped in 3 months. There really is not a counter or table top that is not covered in clutter. My mind is cluttered. I know it. I can feel it. I have shifted my gaze. It is easy to do; when things get tough. When it's hard to breathe; we tighten our grip. We tense. And in those moments, I have taken my eyes off the One who is the only source of strength I ... View Post
30 days of Thankfulness
The Halloween festivities are over. The candy hidden away from other siblings. Clarissa is still out. I climb the stairs to kiss the girls goodnight. I linger at his door. I look around. How does it come to this? How can I be left to carry on? Oh how I miss him. My child, my son. I gaze at his airsoft guns. The clothes still not put away. His motorcycle jacket and helmet. The ache remains embedded in my heart. I think of all the mom's whose children have gone before them. I can hardly pray. It is more a groan.I turn and walk down the hall to ... View Post
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