It's the tears that come today. Not the words. Elijah's Baptism here on the farm. Psalm 100:5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. First day of Senior year Psalm 39:4 "Show me, LORD, my life's end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is. Winter ball Senior year Psalm 139:16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. The memories ... View Post
When You Have More Questions Than Answers
My son is on the field playing. It is his first game. It is my younger son. Now a High Schooler. I have sat in these bleachers for 4 years watching. The memories are overwhelming. These are new days. A new team. A friend joins me. Her sons gone to college. Mine to heaven. She sits with us. To remember. To help me through this day. While I sit in the sun; missing Elijah. Cheering Cedric. I receive a text. It is a text I don't want to read. You see last Fall, we were blessed. A man ... View Post
Walking Into Praise
An unexpected phone call. Psalm 8:4 what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Words of encouragement from a stranger; now friend. Messages of hope intended for my farmer. Compassion and grace right on the other end of the phone. Unexpected. Humbling. Hard to take. Job 38:4 Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. I call my farmer. I share the encouragement. Hoping to lift his spirits. He asks me "Why am I so depressed when so many are praying?" I remind him of ... View Post
A Sunday Journey To The Grave
I haven't been to the grave all winter. The grave that holds my first born. My son. The snow piles high and there is no passage to the cemetery except on foot. I know he is not there. I know he reigns above. He is in joy beyond all measure. He will never experience pain, or heartbreak. His journey complete. He's home. Waiting for us. But we are here. And to the grave I travel. This day when the sun warms the earth to the high 40's. The Sabbath. The day of rest. Someone had placed a wreath I never ... View Post
Cooking, Cook Books and Grief
I read cook books like they are novels. I love them. Especially ones with pictures. I often just look at the pictures and won't use the recipe. I may glance at the ingredients. I am finicky too. If it has too many ingredients, I won't cook it. My brother on the other hand. He is amazing. He will make fun stuff that tastes so good. Like Hot Weinies, just like the locals make. I need it to be simple, quick; what I have on hand. Mostly I have been a meat and potatoes girl. Lately, I have branched out. It began with ... View Post
Just Because. . .Part 2
I don't necessarily like part 2's. I like things to wrap up nicely and be done. Finished. I don't live that way. I leave many things unfinished. Incomplete. But with others things I want it finished. I found after yesterday's post. That there was the "rest of the story" There was more to flush out in the day. Because everyday is the Lord's Psalm 118:24 This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. I recognized that it was His day. I gave praise. But rejoicing these days is hard. My soul is peaceful and I recognize God's handiwork ... View Post
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