Once again I missed it. Someone else brought to my attention the obvious. How God has used his creation to show his heart. Literally. I missed it the morning Elijah stepped into Eternity. The heaven's declared their majesty in the shape of a heart. Psalm 19:1 The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. I missed the heart. But I caught the colorful display in a picture. It wasn't until later that someone pointed out the heart. . So, I missed it again. In a ... View Post
Just Another Day
3 bags gone. 2 of clutter 1 of trash. The girls were troopers. It was their room after all. They stayed with Sue. I stayed away. I balanced the check book. Folded 2 loads of laundry. Made a cake for death by chocolate. But forgot to turn the oven on. Ooops. Our friends were here from Florida so they brought lunch over. We sat in the sunshine and ate. It was so good to see them. It was so good to be in the sun. We talked about books on tape. And then of course we talked about ... View Post
How Does One Let Go, When You Want To Hold On Tight?
How to walk this road; nobody knows. Learning to let go when you want to hold on tight. The future torn from you. Death. The silent thief. Knows no boundaries. Respects no heart. We, a people, not meant for death. Created for life. Abundantly. The searing pain rips through. Again, and again. A walk past the room. A graduation cap and gown. The sound of a siren. Again, and again, the pounding pain. He is no longer here. He is no longer here. There are no coming homes. I do not cook his favorite meal. I write no letters and receive ... View Post
What He Has Gained
The bell tolls. It's been more than 20 years since I have heard that sound. It stirs the memories held deep. The 4 months I lived across the street. When time was measured by the toll of the bell. The hour. The half. It seems like a life time ago. All my future still before me. Young, innocent. My walk with God was different then. He was all I had. There were few distractions. Much time spent in prayer. Though the richness and depth came with time. As I turn the corner the tolls end. I can feel the companion of sadness and loss begin to permeate. ... View Post
My Soul Is Well
It's the future that echoes. The hollow emptiness that will ever be. It's what all parent's feel at the loss of their child; of a loved one held dear. It tears and pulls at the heart. A daily struggle to rise and count the grace given for the moment. It is deep anguish thrashing to consume. Stepping towards hope against the raging current. Your son ripped from you in a moment. Searing loss. Moments that can never be again. It's been 9 months. The tears come wrapped in a cocoon of grace. The shattered fragments of my heart held tightly ... View Post
The Question That Begs An Answer
The doctor asks my farmer, "What do you like to do?" And I watch my farmer. He doesn't know. Right now, he hates farming. There are aspects he used to enjoy. Maybe even love. A deep satisfaction. Now, it produces stress. Reminders of a beloved red headed farm boy; heading to the Marines. He used to play music. . . we both did. Kids and life got in the way. I start to think. What do I like to do? I used to love to teach. It is in my blood. But with 6 children, a farm, a home, working out became impossible. My career shifted to domestic ... View Post
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