This time last year we had been in Maine. We came home. It was so quiet. No white tornado puppy to great us. I had been thinking about our home going and what it would be like. How quickly my son would experience that journey. Each step of every day draws me closer to the anniversary of the day. We attended a Birthday for a sweet One year old. We sang Happy Birthday and she opened her presents. On the TV ran photos of my children when they were little. Pictures of Elijah. His blue eyes ... View Post
Betrayal And Thanks, In The Same Sentence
The house is so quiet. Our new family have settled in their home. The past week and a half has been non stop crazy with 12 people under the same roof. But it was community. Learning to live with another. Sharing chores. Helping. Bearing one another's load. A practice long abandoned in the name of independence. Families drifting apart. Help seen as hindrance; dependence. I enjoyed the help. The common desire to serve our families. Pooling resources. Dinner cooked. More time. Laundry switched. I think if they had ... View Post
Is There Ever The Right Time?
I brush the dirt away. Dirt from the farm of his years. Splattered on the stone from rain, while it sat on the patio. While we waited for the right time. Is there ever the right time? Is there ever the desire to place a stone at your son's grave? There isn't. This stone. Another gift given by the community. Etched in love by a teammate apprenticing with a Master. A teammate that knows the loss of a brother. Another life taken so soon. The analogy is not missed. We are here on this earth; ... View Post
Living Fully
Another perfect summer day. The wind blows. The sun is shining. No humidity. Shows and a wedding. These are days that the living flows. Days that take little effort. The ease with which to work. It's easy to find hope on these days. Yet my heart still holds back. Each day healing. Each moment filled with grace. But just under the surface the pain and the missing reside. Forever changed; yet today needing to be lived through. Psalm 118:24 This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad ... View Post
When You Have More Questions Than Answers
My son is on the field playing. It is his first game. It is my younger son. Now a High Schooler. I have sat in these bleachers for 4 years watching. The memories are overwhelming. These are new days. A new team. A friend joins me. Her sons gone to college. Mine to heaven. She sits with us. To remember. To help me through this day. While I sit in the sun; missing Elijah. Cheering Cedric. I receive a text. It is a text I don't want to read. You see last Fall, we were blessed. A man ... View Post
We Don’t Like To Be Uncomfortable. . . But Sometimes Uncomfortable Is Where We Need To Be
They sit in the corner and gather dust. Memories on hold. The beat stuck for all time. I don't know what to do with them. Mostly I stand and stare. While another piece of my heart breaks away. I remember. I try to hear the sounds and feel the rhythms to no avail. They are silenced. It's a new rhythm now. Set in a key and time change I am not comfortable with. There are too many accidentals and I stumble over the melody line. The timbre harsh and abrasive. Some new friends come to visit. Members of the club no one asks for. Further along the ... View Post
