My heart is wounded. I am tired. This path is wrought with grief and pain. The only way out is through. One needs to wrestle through the memories. Through the future that will never be; snatched away. I've been robbed. Robbed of graduation from Marine Corps Boot Camp, robbed of the future of our son. And it hurts. I can't change it. No matter the longing, it will never be. Yet my wounded heart is held in the palm of the hand of the One who created us. And as I wrestle each day with the reality of never ... View Post
This Road is Hard, and Long
Psalm 13 How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? Consider and hear me, O Lord my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death; Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved. But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the Lord, ... View Post
He is There And I Am Not
Sometimes the echo of the quiet is so overwhelming How does your soul reconcile that your child is gone? Church is always so hard. Today we sang this song. I don't know when I will be able to worship without tears streaming down my face. We will dance on the streets that are Golden. . . My son is dancing. . .on streets that are Golden. He is there. And I am not. This is hard and not right. I am learning to live moment by moment. More than that; is too much. I have grace for the moment; that is all. As I sing these words today, someone rubs my ... View Post
As Reality Sets In
As the fog lifts and my new reality sets in. I am confident only in knowing that my comfort is in the LORD. I lack confidence in every other area. I can not trust any emotion. I made a trip to the Orthodontist with Ana. I am reminded Elijah only had his braces off for a little over a month. I head to Walmart. First time in 2 months. I don't like going there under normal circumstances. There is nothing normal about me anymore. I come undone as my youngest asks for Ramen Noodles. Is there no easy way? We head to cello lessons and the memories flood my mind as tears pour down my ... View Post
