We stand at the grave. This college friend and I. Last together when life didn't hold so many painful pieces. Back when life was still fresh and young. This day we stand at the grave of my oldest son. "Tell me about Elijah, " she says. My eyes fill with tears. It's been months since I have let myself think of him. Months since I have paused to remember. Because in the remembering the searing ache lies. The sharp pain of who he was and will never be. The kind and caring, yet hot tempered red head. So ... View Post
His Room is Still Empty. . .And So Is The Tomb
His room is still empty. I climb to the top of the stairs. It has become cluttered again. . . with stuff. Stuff that isn't his. Extra baggage that doesn't belong there. Our new adventure has consumed much energy. Each time a list complete. . . another, just as long, emerges. Details begat more details. Things we hadn't noticed before, began to come to light. We were taking the time to examine. My quiet time has been filled with me talking. Me requesting. Pushing off time in the ... View Post
Worry, Epiphanies and the Every Day
I'm not sleeping well. It's been 27 months without my son. I go to bed exhausted. I wake up exhausted. I know I've been awake in the night. I have that heavy feeling. What is keeping me up? Luke 10:41 "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed-- or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." This verse has troubled me for many years. I've attended retreats based on the verse. Read an ... View Post
We’re Stepping Out In Faith, We’re putting Feet on A Dream!
We're working hard. Painting. Cleaning. (Eww) Gardening. Decorating. So exciting. We're taking a step of faith. Putting feet on a dream. My farmers word from the Lord. "More people." My gift; hospitality. Friends who are all in. Do you long to experience a slower pace? Have you ever wondered what life on a farm might look like? Do you just need a break? Introducing the Davis Farm Guest House At the Davis Farm Guest House you will find all of ... View Post
Summer, Please Don’t End
Milking is finished. The cows are heading to pasture. It is unseasonably warm. (with NO humidity!) A glorious sunrise. Hot coffee. The Ancient word. Taking time to - Stop And thank God for: This sunrise the beautiful weather (and NO hudimity!) lots of coffee A slower day grace for the journey friendship new adventures music learning in the struggle fall baking did I mention coffee? farm table visits new employees warm breeze Sheets on the line and coffee May your day be filled with immeasurable grace. Attempt to ... View Post
The Smell of Dog Pee Pushed Me On
I begin to clean my room. The room I have occupied since my wedding night. The room I have not cleaned since before the accident. Piles of stuff. Dirt. The smell of dog pee. I know it's in there somewhere. Yes. It's gross. And that's what I have been living in. I can barely begin to clean. I can't stay focused on anything. I try. I have help sometimes. A friend who is quiet and gentle comes to be by my side. We clean or organize and then it seeps in again. I hate living like ... View Post
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