The boy leaves me undone. Most days are difficult. Each word is poison and I can't begin to help him. He's lost a brother. Dealt with his beloved father being so sick and he's 14. I would come unglued. He's still fragile in the faith. And he's lashing out. But sometimes there are glimpses of what is to come. The veil pulled back and the blue eyes shine. There is humor and there is a sensitivity, so like his fathers. But this growing and stretching is hard on me. So when there is a calm. I embrace it. When ... View Post
When Each Step Taken, Is On Solid Ground
Easter. A day of great joy. Also my birthday. Another new path forged. Days I didn't want to walk through. Yet the beat of time relentless in its march. (Easter 2013) (Easter 2013) Then, the realization that your first born is residing in Glory on this Resurrection day. Oh the joy he experiences on a continual basis. We, a people, just trying to understand with limited minds. I made it through most of the service with out crying. It's the first service since Elijah met Jesus and Gary was diagnosed with cancer, that I haven't dissolved into a weeping ... View Post
The Best Birthday Gift. . . Ever
Each year I would begin calling my dad around the end of March. The countdown to my birthday had commenced. We played this game for years. Well into my adulthood. Long after I should have stopped. I loved it. Mom had a knack for making birthdays and holidays magical. It wasn't anything she bought. It was her excitement. It was catchy. She singled you out. For worth. For purpose. My birthday meant Spring. The end of the cruel winter. Each birthday wonderful. Spent with family and friends. It didn't matter what we did. I just loved being together and celebrating. Mom is ... View Post
He Did What He Had To Do. . .For Us
It's not about the candy or the Bunny. It's not about the Eggs, the baskets or the Ham dinner. But it is. And One less basket leaves me weak. There are so many little things that add up to shattered dreams and a broken way. And I wonder. What was it like in Heaven when Jesus returned? God had sent his son that star lit night long, long ago. Sent the babe to Bethlehem. The Incarnate. Isaiah 7:14 Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. The Savior of the ... View Post
A Walk He Chose To Take
We celebrated his life. This man who was larger than life. Who bent his knee to the Creator to be changed. Who took my broken heart into his hands and gently poured in grace. He taught me to receive. His life; love in action. His sons talked of his faith. His love for words. And I know he loved coffee. He would show up at my door with his mug. I loved that. He was a kindred spirit. As I sat in the back of the church I reflected on how almost 9 months ago I sat in the front row remembering my son. Celebrating his ... View Post
A Journey Through The Darkness
The quiet settles in to the farm house. Each to his own space. The little girls tucked in snuggy. The older kids working on school work. The farmer soon to be in deep slumber. It has been a full day. Milking, chores, working on the pack barn. (4-17-13) Dealing with snow and mud. Visits to help heal broken hearts. Conversations about living for Christ. Advice from one close to depression. Visiting hours for the one who gave all. Ending with a band concert. The beat of the day. Pressing on. ... View Post
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