The bell tolls. It's been more than 20 years since I have heard that sound. It stirs the memories held deep. The 4 months I lived across the street. When time was measured by the toll of the bell. The hour. The half. It seems like a life time ago. All my future still before me. Young, innocent. My walk with God was different then. He was all I had. There were few distractions. Much time spent in prayer. Though the richness and depth came with time. As I turn the corner the tolls end. I can feel the companion of sadness and loss begin to permeate. ... View Post
It’s Only A Couch
We shop for a couch. I just about come unglued. There are so many choices. Don't let the fabric bother you, she says. You can have it in any fabric you want. Like the fabric becomes the end all? It's only a couch. Yet I am paralyzed. So many choices. It's only a couch. Maybe ours really isn't that bad, I start to think. The frame broke years ago. So there is a wee bit of a sag. Years ago, as well, the seams separated after the buttons popped off. Stuffing spills all over clothes and intertwines with your ... View Post
A Broken Pot (Yes Very Cracked) But Not Beyond Repair
The thoughtless words come spewing out. I am angry. My anger is directed at no one in particular. The tender soul of the blue eyed girl receives the brunt. I feel out of sorts. And lashing out is my first reaction. Those words can not be taken back. No matter how deeply I ask for forgiveness. They came out. I Corinthians 13:4-6 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but ... View Post
Waiting; The Farming Way
It's raining. Again. We really could use a little precipitation. The grass will green up quickly. We are running short on feed. With the new calculations it looks like we have 10 days of feed left. 10 days left of the harvest that held our son. His hand in the work. The final pieces of summers bounty, ending. Another piece to the puzzle. Another added expense. I watch my farmer husband as he shares the news. We need feed. He doesn't react. Years of volatility in this business have hardened him to ... View Post
He Will Renew Our Strength
A wife loses her husband and 2 children in a tornado. Just like that. 3 members of their family gone. How does a mom grieve for 2 children and her husband? Her soul-mate. I am familiar with the loss of a child. I know the searing pain. The overwhelming grief. I know the knee bruising prayer of pleas to spare my husbands life. To lose them all at once? My heart snaps. There is so much pain. I read the comments one of the daughter places on Facebook. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of ... View Post
A Step At A Time
"Every doing starts with a step." It's the first thing I read when I get out of bed. A tweet from Proverbs 31 ministry. I didn't want to get up today. Sometimes when I open my eyes the impact hits all over again. I usually turn my first thoughts to God. At least I try. I try to thank Him for the day. To begin my day with a Christlike focus. Lately it's been about my emotions. I wallow in what I have lost. I cry out for it to not be. This morning when I didn't want to take a step. Those first words encouraged me. "Every ... View Post
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