Bonus Day! The Saturday after Thanksgiving . On the farm the Holidays are just like any other day. The chores need to be done twice a day. There's milking, clean up chores, feeding and checking on animals. A holiday doesn't stop the work. But my farmer will try to get in a little earlier so it's a treat! A bonus Day! AND he will also try to get in a little earlier the day after Thanksgiving so we can begin to decorate this old farmhouse! The kids bicker and fight. The youngest farm girl is out of sorts. I wonder how we'll make it through. They holler and throw angry words out. The ... View Post
Looking for Joy
The emptiness lingers. The loss of a child. The days march on. The ebb and flow of life. There, in the space, lies the ache. Continual. The child we bore. No more. Their laughter and joy. Snuffed out so soon. The veil between heaven and earth so close. A breath away. The ache can pull one under. A conscience choice each day to step forward in grace. Advent begins again. 4 Advents since he left. 4 Christmases of reaching to hold on. Hope. Love. Today joy. The tree is in. Light illuminates this dark farmhouse. They twinkle and gleam. The house. Transformed; by ... View Post
I Can Scarcely Breath This Christmas Morning
Hush. I hear the whisper. Hush. He calms my aching soul. The empty stocking. My nephews children without their dad. My sister in law with out her son. The news of another loss of a dad so loved in this community. I can scarcely breathe this Christmas morning. I hear the whisper as I drive to the barn. Hush my child. The strains of a loved Christmas Carol play, Sing, choirs of angels, sing in exultation;O sing, all ye citizens of heaven above!Glory to God, all glory in the highest; Sing all ye citizens of ... View Post
I Ponder These Things
13 years ago I sat in the wee hours of the morning. Bathed in the twinkling Christmas lights. Hope wrapped inside; heavy with child. Nights uncomfortable. Seeking solace in the quiet. Pondering. So different from my walk today. A Christmas child. Due at any moment. What did Mary feel as she carried the Hope of all Nations? What was it like that night when all hung in balance as the Incarnate became Flesh? Isaiah 9:6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the ... View Post
Every Time I See Purple. . . I Think of Her
He wore purple to the Missions Night. Our Youth Pastor. He didn't know it was the Eve of her home going. It made me think of her. She would have loved his outfit. She would have told him. So, I did. And today she's been gone for 3 years. Her smile and laughter missed by all who knew her. This is a repost from last year. It is my walk. The journey God has placed before me. I am grateful I worked through the tough season with my mom to be able to love and serve her in her last days her on this earth. If you have ... View Post
When You’re Decking the Halls and You Feel Like Checking Out
In a moment he was gone. The police stood at my door. Accident. Death. Wake. Funeral. All words connected to my child. What do you call a parent who has lost a child? Who am I? I am broken hearted. I ache from deep within. Year 3 of Christmas without my boy. Year 4 without my mom. I am decking the halls. Playing Christmas music. Remembering. Every ornament I pull out I am reminded. His name; the year. Given by my mom. I quiet the onslaught of grief. The lights ... View Post
