Amazing worship, back porch visits,  flowers remembering the 4 weeks we have missed our son, sun shine with a soft breeze, forts in the back yard. These are the elements of today; of this day of rest.  Grace. Cedric was leaving for camp and his brother leaned in the car to give him a hug.  I snapped a picture with that smart phone I desperately never wanted.  This was the last time Cedric saw Elijah.  Who knew how important this picture would become? Brothers. The bond is strong.  Their communication needs few words. Sometimes just more floor space ... View Post

It's been 4 Sundays since your feet have not walked this earth.  4 Sundays of missing. 4 weeks of Sundays that we have shed hot tears...4 Sundays of longing to see you again. 4 Saturdays of wishing I could do anything about that day differently.  I watch the clock tick away the minutes. . . 4 weeks of nothing really feeling right.  But it is also 4 weeks you have spent in glory. While we are left behind to feel the ache.  Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing  with the glory that will be revealed in us. (thanks ... View Post

When we are quiet and still. God meets us. He is everlasting and true. Each day that passes takes us further away from the accident. But closer to Christ's return.  I struggle with wrapping my arms around this entire journey. I Corinthians 13;12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;  then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully,  even as I am fully known. This morning I again lean into the door frame of Elijah's room. The pain still permeates the heart like a knife. I try to twist from the pain. I want to gently rub his ... View Post

As I dig through the fog each morning. I cry to God to find unspoken peace in Him. I settle there. . .for a while. Even in the midst of this deep anguish, we can find hope. We need to dig through the dirt and mire to find the core. The core of our souls that longs to find redemption. We each were created for a reason and a purpose. That gives me hope. It sets my feet on solid ground. As I grapple with this new life, I trust that God will guide my steps. When waves of grief flood my soul and I think I can not bear it any longer. . .it is too much. When all of me wants to scream, No! This can't ... View Post