Our first calf of the New Year is born on the coldest day. I don't understand the ways of this world. I never will. The calf survived, thanks to the quick thinking of our helpers. New life. Fresh starts. I have a cousin that is mourning the loss of her sweet unborn baby. Oh how my heart resonates. I too have lost what I did not know and have lost the prayed for child after that loss. New life. It's what God gives us when we surrender to him. When we lay it all down because we can't do it alone. It ... View Post
Finding Joy And Grace For This Very Moment
Before I even open my eyes, I feel it. I have a headache and the missing is there. Some days it is not so apparent. But today it will be my constant companion. The deep longing. I want to wriggle out of this skin. I want all that has been lost to be restored. But it can't. The weight of the loss and what the future will hold threatens to pull me down. The hot burning has returned. I make coffee and look at the piles of laundry and book work still needing attention. The floors that need to be mopped, the ... View Post
Pressing On Through; God Will Make A Way
Before I had even finished writing my last post, I received word that Cheslea's Grandmother had died on New Year's Eve. She was at a party. Just fine. And had a heart attack; Just like that. In a year when we have experienced so much heart ache. This feels like too much. What do you do when you feel like at every corner you're knocked down? When life is relentless in it's burden. How do you live when all is heavy and weighted down? There is no option for surrender. The only option is to press on. Press on towards that goal. Take a moment to ... View Post
I Am Not Sure I Want A Clean Slate
The new year came. 2014 came with a tick of a moment. A beat. Much like the moment; the beat, that stopped the night our son was killed. 2014 a new beginning, a clean slate; one I don't want so clean. I don't want to chose a word, or make resolutions. ... View Post
Why I Don’t Want To Say Good Bye. . .Again
I don't want to say goodbye to 2013; at all. One might think, why? I should be ready to kiss 2013 Good Bye forever. But I can't. 2013 holds my son. It holds Winter Ball in January. A cruise in February. Mother's Day and every other day when Elijah walked this earth. When he was alive and his future full before him. Where his hopes and dreams were held tightly in the future that was to his. It held boot camp and life. 2013 holds Lacrosse, Memorial Day, Prom and ... View Post
Sometimes I Just Can’t Pray
Sometimes I can't pray. There are no words. I try. The enormity of all that has happened and is happening stifles almost all my being; and prayer can not happen. I know others are praying. I can feel it; There is a sweet peace that permeates. Being still before God is hard to do when your son lies deep beneath the sod of this earth. When you wait for toxic cocktails and radiation to work their miracle on your husband. Grief transcends words and emotions. And I sit to pray and I can't. I walk to pray, and I can't. Words don't come. Usually the ... View Post
- « Previous Page
- 1
- …
- 119
- 120
- 121
- 122
- 123
- …
- 149
- Next Page »
