Will this ever be easy? Will waiting for the children to come home ever feel safe again? I hold my breath. I feel tense. My spirit unsettled. Waiting. For the axe to drop. Anticipating the negative. Icy cold fear. It creeps in. Slowly. While you're not aware. It is there. Gripping. Choking. The dawn will come and it will be 23 months since my boy walked the face of this earth. 23 months since I have felt normal, It has been 23 months of putting one foot in front of the ... View Post
Celebrating the Niece Today!
She's 15 today. My funtastic niece! Beautiful and feisty. One of my greatest hero's. Her laughter like a thousand sparkles. Her stubbornness deep. She leans head on into life. She needs that grit. She's fought hard through surgeries since day one. Yet this hasn't slowed her down. She's adaptable and stuck to her guns. She loves her family fiercely. Her heart, so sensitive towards others. That heart. Baptized in the river that runs through the land of her ancestors. Learning ... View Post
When You Need to Search For Joy On Father’s Day
How can you miss someone when they are physically still here? How can your heart ache so deeply and long for what once was? The memory thief pulls and tugs until there is but a shell. A shell of the person that once was. The strength; staunch independence now shadowed. How cruel it seems to watch. How twisted the path. We are powerless to stop the movement. Helpless to change. Yet we are not without hope. Hope that one day all this torment will be gone. The day when sweet reunions are fulfilled. When pain ... View Post
Graduation, Ambulances and Parties. . . Oh My!
I am learning that life is not about what we want or desire. That at every turn our spirit needs to be yielded to the Almighty. Life can be unpredictable. Our response to the events placed in our path can make or break us. We can plan and prepare. We live. When our hearts are nurtured; surrendered to a life with God; life can still be harsh. Graduation was looming. Party preparations under way. Months of planning. Days of preparing. Such fun. New beginnings. Graduation day dawned ... View Post
Celebrating The Farm Boy!
My farm boy is 16 today. 2 birthdays celebrated without his best friend and brother. A new way of living for him. Pushing, pulling, stretching boundaries. Reaching to find. . . who he is. Life dealing him lemons. His soul learning to make lemonade. His view of life; so different from mine. Lessons learned at every turn. His path bumpy at times. Yet so willing to adapt to the conditions. This is my boy. Honored at school with an award and a gift. Given for "his love of life." His quest to press on. He may ... View Post
Are You Able To Look Forward?
No matter how you look at it. This life can be hard. It can be painstakingly beautiful, too. Sometimes it just seems like the pain rises to the top. Usurping the joy. Isn't that Satan's way? He wants to steal our joy. He wants to bring this world to it's knees. Missing the beauty of the redemption in Christ. Blinding us to that which is holy and good. It seeps in. A bad day at the office. Traffic. Money issues. Kids challenging authority. "Busy"ness; running from one kids activity to ... View Post
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