The lights twinkle. The kids are playing. Clarissa is at work. It is unusually quiet. It's nice. We are waiting for Gary to come in. It's been that kind of a day. The kind of day where you hold on with all you have. Because it's all about to slip out of your grasp. And I've come to realize, that's really ok. We are learning to hold very loosely to the things of this earth. Our hands remain open, either for removing, or pouring in. These days it seems more for the removing. Yet, I can not see the big picture. Things ... View Post
Fighting Discouragement With A Well Worn Path
Discouragement. Do you ever struggle? It creeps in uninvited. It is different than depression. In some ways worse. It is the tool the enemy uses when he can find no other way. Our Cedric has descended into the pit of discouragement. It is painful to watch. In his world nothing is going right. And he's right. So much is, oh so wrong. So many changes for one so young. As adults we are struggling; how in the face of youth do you take on these monumental burdens? Cedric has a desire to work this farm; it runs deep through his ... View Post
Advent: A Season of Waiting and Preparation
When you're in the middle of Advent and you're waiting; longing for Christs return. Longing for anything other than this path. Sometimes the pain is so searing it leaves me dizzy. The magnitude of the loss overpowering. Gary plays a message on his phone and it rips my heart right open wide. His voice. Oh, how I miss it. I knew his voice. I recognized it. I knew his step on the stair. These things a mama knows. And when those things are taken away - ripped right away from this life, it leaves you reeling and teetering for something to grasp. Because the hurt and pain of this world cuts like a ... View Post
The Future That Really Matters. . .Day #30 of Thankfulness
I walk out of the bedroom to start my coffee. There are sleeping bags all over the living room. I pick up the pot and plug it in the bathroom so not to disturb anyone. I have a blondie in my bed who had a headache in the middle of the night. I start the laundry and fold a load while I wait for the coffee. My phone is plugged in, in the middle of the sea of sleeping bags. I don't dare disturb them. I wander to the parlor, I open the door and there is another sea of sleeping bags. I head back to my room. I hope the blondie stays sleeping. There are sleeping bags in 2 of the rooms ... View Post
Why Is Alternative Medicine So Frowned Upon? . . . Day #21 of Thankfulness
Alternative Medicine. What do we know about it? Why is it so poo poo'd in the Medical Community? If there are advances made with less invasive practices, why are we not applauding and supporting these wonderful insights? Why did my insurance coverage tell me that I could not give my son the prescribed medicine from the doctor; they would not cover it, it had to be a different medicine. The medicine made him dizzy and feel weird. This doesn't make sense. My doctor, who knows my son, knows what he needs, is not able to make the decisions of best care for my child. . .the ... View Post
The Day is Dawning, How Will You Live This Day? . . .Day #13 of Thankfulness
The day dawns. White crisp flakes fall to the ground. The blanket of white enveloping the land. Our sins are made as white as snow. Isaiah 1:18 Come now, let us settle the matter, says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. One gave, that we may have eternal life. I keep hearing the voice of the Officer. There's been an accident. Is he ok? silence I'm sorry. It plays over and over in my head. The heart drop feeling. The moment my life changed forever. I can remember saying ... View Post
