The wind blows. It stirs me awake. I want to snuggle down and stay in bed. Some days I don't want to get up. This is one. I sigh under the weight of remembering. I fling my thoughts heavenward. I get coffee. This life is hard. The darkness hovers now; earlier. My favorite time of year. I want to see beauty yet marred by deep sadness. Plans are hard to make. So much clutters my mind. Time marching forward. Moving further and further from the accident. Further from my son. Yet ... View Post
May Hope Find You
The music plays in the background. A song, somehow, I have not heard before. A story needing to be told. Another taken so young. It is staggering how many young men have been called home in a single car accident. Young men. Mama's sons. Daddy's boys. Sibilings. Children of God. The couple on the video tell their story. Their words resonate with my heart. This is not our home. This is not where we belong. It is the reminder. This journey is not over. We are heading ... View Post
How a Community Grieves; A Year Later
Another repost from the archives. These days are still so fresh as we journey forward. We have had many, many visitors this year to the farm. Friends I have not seen in years, bringing hugs and love. All trying to make some sense of this difficult time. It has been a year of grace and trusting through the storms. Our farmhouse doors will remain open. We will walk the journey in this life with bowed knee and eyes lifted to the heavens. Psalm 121:1-4 I lift up my eyes to the hills From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not ... View Post
I Snapped The Memory
I wake and I can feel the oppression. It is heavy. The weight of loss; the ache. Sometimes it's so hard to pray. I don't know what to say. It feels trivial. I've said it a hundred times already. God please be with me. Please, do not leave me. I pray Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. I say the verse over and over. I long for Him to strengthen me. To hold ... View Post
It’s The Receiving That Is So Hard
He's here. A man who offered to pray for our family 1600 miles away. He has connections and mutual friends here in the area. He prayed. During those long months of chemo and radiation and dense fog. He prayed; for us. When I could barely put a foot in front of the other. He prayed. He sent encouraging e-mails. A stranger. Now friend. Brothers and sisters in Christ. He wanted to do something. Something for us. We didn't know what to say. And now he's here. How do you say anything when ... View Post
I Fear She Will Forget
Today is the anniversary of Davis Farm's first blog post. Little did I know then how this blog would become an outlet for my expression through deep grief and cancer. How I would wrestle with all things eternal. It seems like just yesterday that Gary and the kids went off to the Williston Parade. As usual there had been much activity. It was nice to have a few moments to myself. I can't remember what I did with those moments. I am sure I made an ice cream cake for Eleanor's birthday. I probably wrote the post. But most ... View Post
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