It's the moment just before I wake. Just before my eyes open that it all weighs down. The magnitude of loss, the reality of cancer, finances hanging in the balance. It is in those same moments that the battle for the day wages. My whole being wants to burrow down in; refuse to go on. How can I? When all I have known is changed. All that I was created to be has been ripped from me. The day to day has changed for ever and the future for one, decided. A mommy shouldn't have to bury their child. It is ... View Post
Are You Hurting? He Longs To Hold You.
Today is Day #14 of Radiation. He is half way through Chemo. The side effects have been minimal. . .up until now. This week they have begun to wield their wrath. It began with a metallic taste and now has moved to no taste or having a foul taste. This is a man who rarely, if at all, complains. Ok, rarely, if at all speaks. But he rarely complains. He pushes on no matter what. He is driven; in work, faith, commitment. There is a danger in this. Success of treatments needs a healthy body. He needs to eat and drink. Today I will begin trying ... View Post
How Worry Is NOT My Constant Companion
Today we head to the hospital. The questions we have had; answered. The preparation for chemo and radiation will begin. I do not know what this journey will hold. My spirit is weary with grieving. Yet in my weariness, as I pass the pole, I see someone has placed a cross. I am later told it was Alaria, Elijah's girlfriends sister. My weariness is from the unknown. But worry has not been my companion. Great sorrow, deep agony; Yes, they follow me. But worry has fled in the face of peace. Because peace has also been my faithful and constant ... View Post
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