His stocking is empty. The stocking I made to match with our farm boy. A stocking I have filled for 17 precious years. Stockings that were 4 and then became 8 and this year would have been 9. But after 17 years. It is empty. It hangs limp, while all the others burst from the seams; awaiting their precious owners. But it's not about the stockings, or the tree. It's not about the presents; but His presence. And as I stepped outside this morning, the heavens declared their Majesty. The moon and the stars in all their bright, glory rang out the song that, Jesus is ... View Post
A Birthday On The Holiest Of Nights
It was such a clear, cold night. The stars shone brightly. I couldn't sleep. Moon beams streamed through the window. I wondered what Mary, the mother of our Savior, thought about. How did she feel? Did her feet swell on the way to Bethlehem. How did she make that journey, so with child? What was she thinking? I pondered these things as I was heavy with child; as I mourned the loss of my Mother in Law. I pondered these things during Advent as my time grew near. I wondered. On the night before the celebration of the birth of the Savior ... View Post
Sometimes We Just Need A Time Out
I have only been home for about an hour and I can start to feel it. The counters are a mess. There is laundry everywhere. Food needs to be put away; the dish drainer emptied. The kids have left their backpacks on the bench and violins and costumes for the upcoming performance. I have been at the hospital all day and coming home to a mess and uncooperative kids is. . .well, it's just normal. They are kids. They've been in school all day and then came home; and they are on vacation and the last thing they are thinking about are the messes. And that's good. They should ... View Post
What A Diner, Radiation and Errands Can Do For Your Marriage
We arrive early. Yes, we were early. Gary assured the attendant at the desk that this would never happen again. We choose our seats. It is still quiet in this place. We gaze around the room. We are surprised to see a fully decorated Christmas Tree AND a table full of goodies. Crackers and cheese. Various Christmas delicacies. This is our welcome to Day #1 of radiation. They call Gary. He has a plate of food. They ask him if he wants them to come and get him later. He pauses. I assure them that we want him to go. . . now. He ... View Post
3 Roses, 3 Years. . .Not Quite
3 Roses. 3 years. . .not quite. I see them silhouetted against the white back drop. How does an 18 year old journey without her future? All she held dear; wrapped in a red headed boy that stole her heart; now lies deep beneath the earth. Buried with her hopes and dreams. Her memories her only solace. In time, she will move on. She will continue to live; and all this, some day, will be a shadow of who she once was. It will be part of her story. Of what makes her who she is. This young girl has become so dear to my ... View Post
When What Looms Ahead, Seems Insurmountable
Just before I fall asleep I tell my farmer, I don't want to watch him go through chemo and radiation. I watched my mom's journey for 9 years and I have lost my son. I really don't know how much more my heart can take. How can I add more pain to our already broken hearts? I love this farmer with all my heart. He sighs in the quiet and holds me close. There are no need for words. Me the city girl moved to the farm. I think back to the early days of us dating and our marriage. Oh, how little I knew about the farming way. There is still much I do not know; much I do not ... View Post
