The summer sky is unpredictable these days.
The angry heavens pour down their wrath day after day.
Haying is nearly impossible.
Water gathers in the basement and swirls in the river.
Yesterday and today there is a break in the pattern.
The sun shines.
We withdraw to our Happy place.
Sun reflects off the fast, flowing river.
The wind rustles the branches of the stately willow.
This moment in time is refreshing.
I try to hold on.
I memorize the sounds and the feeling.|
The youngest crawls onto my lap.
She curls tightly in a ball.
Her long legs protrude.
I hold her close.
I breathe in her scent.
I don’t want to forget.
The heaviness and weight have returned.
The missing and the ache.
I push through.
I want to be present.
In this moment.
It is later;
when I am alone that I face the ache.
The nauseating, piercing hole and reminder.
The wave washes over me again and again.
All that can’t be.
Won’t ever be.
I find the steady.
That which I can ride this wave.
I can hear the still small voice.
I am here.
I breathe deep the loss.
I will never leave you nor forsake you.
God reaches into the yucky part of the ache.
I created you.
I listen to that voice.
I created Elijah.
I know your ache.
I see your pain.
I am not alone.
I have never been this whole journey.
Though I may feel alone; I never am.
I am grateful for the time we took to seek the quiet.
This practice of slowing down intentionally is good.
We will keep practicing.
May you find the time to seek the quiet.
To rest with your family, friends or pets.
Join me on this journey?
What are the things you do to pull back from the hustle and bustle of this life?