There was a mix up with appointments. I needed to talk with one of the nurses. We play phone tag over 2 days. I seek peace We finally connect. We work out the appointment details. While I have you on the phone I say; Are you able to give me the results of the scans? He says he can. We don't have to wait 3 more days for the results. A mistake; used to give us answers. I don't even know what to pray. I hold my breath. But I think I have been holding it for months. He says the chest is clear. Then there is a pause. My head spins and ... View Post
When I Don’t Measure Up. . . I Need To Remember What I Wrote Earlier In The Week
I fall short. I don't measure up. I head down a road of self destruction. It is so easy to do. The dishes aren't done. The floors need to be mopped. The phone rings and there are bills to pay. The laundry is backed up again. . .the kids need help. (I didn't say they were helping. . .they need help) The house is so cluttered. One of the hydraulic hoses on the case blew. There's a flat tire on the Swinger. The Valtra is at the shop. My farmer worries me. I miss my son. My heart hurts. I am worn. It all clambers for my attention. Every ... View Post
Do You Long For The Struggle To End?
When I think I can't take it anymore. I breathe deep. There are 4 more days. We can do this. We can make it. My house is out of control. Insurances are waiting for forms, tax preparations loom. I couldn't sleep last night. The first time in 6 months. I got up to pray and read those Ancient Words. I was reminded how the Israelite's were taken from their land. They were banished; sent into an exile they had been warned about. Yet they were told to prosper where they were placed. Even though they weren't in their homeland; ... View Post
A 6 month Walk No One Wants To Take
I stand still in the kitchen. I have cried out to God most of the day. I am tired of cancer. I am tired of missing my son. My soul is unsettled and I long for peace. So I stand. In the kitchen that I hardly use any more. Meals continue to come. I have little to offer. My soul weary from the battle. So I stand. It is quiet. I breathe deep. I sense the presence of God. The peace that passes all understanding surrounds me. For a moment the cancer is gone, the sting of death is appeased. I stand for a moment ... View Post
Sunday Praises. . . Day #10 of Thankfulness
It is Sunday Morning. My coffee is ready. I am heading to read God's Word. My source of encouragement This has been a week of waiting. A week that, really, has been filled with grace. I am grateful for the hugs and meals, visits and prayers. I am weary and torn. I want to see beauty from these ashes. As we continue to wait we will keep our eyes focused. We will continue to give thanks. Have you felt the difference in naming the things you are grateful for? It is a practice that I want to never forget. Day #10 of Thankfulness: I am thankful for: The beauty of Vermont The stark contrast ... View Post
A Walk Through The Years
They ask if we can go out to lunch. I am not ready for that yet. They come to the house. These Teachers are not ones I have taught with. They are the teachers of my children. Relationships forged through years of conferences, class shows and a love of children. They come today to spend some time with this grieving mom. One brings pictures. They make my heart sing. The memories of time gone by They share of their adventures post teaching. It is good to spend time together. A friend of Elijah's sends a note. I am encouraged. I drive by the telephone pole, it ... View Post
