The afternoon had been full of visitors. Gary's cousin, sharing alternative cancer treatments. A friend leaving for Antarctica. Dinner delivered to the door. Others stop too, to visit with the farmer. Bags still to be unpacked. I am tired. We sit for dinner and I sit in a different seat. I try to understand this new normal. For some reason, within my soul, rises a desire to scream. I want to holler that this isn't fair. I want my boy back. I don't want my husband to have cancer. I don't want to think about radiation and chemo ... View Post
A Farming Family. . . Day #16 of Thankfulness
This farm has been in Gary's family since the early 40's. That is more than 70 years of history. I sometimes wonder what it was like back then. What did Papa Cedric say to Grandma Davis when they bought this place? Papa Cedric never lived here. Taken too soon by a brain tumor. Grandma Effie forging a life without her beloved. 2 family members I never met. 2 family members our son rejoices with these days. The family started on the hill. Where there was no electricity or plumbing. She birthed 7 children; a set of twins. (One of which ... View Post
Waiting. . .How Well Do We Do It?
It is 6:00 a.m when we leave the house. It is still dark. I pray while we drive. Trying to calm the churning. I stare at the wall behind the bed. It is a familiar wall. They must be similar in each place. I hold Gary's hand. I close my eyes, I see the wall behind mom's bed. All the tubes and machines. I am holding her hand. Much smaller than my farmers. A beautiful hand with long nails, that even as life slipped away, she had manicured. Always on her own. Very few professional manicures in her life. I linger in the memories for a moment. But they are still ... View Post
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