Do you stumble out of bed? Is there a longing to pull the sheets over your head and wish the day would go away? I do. The desire to sink into quiet, no schedules, sleep past 5:30, rise to greet me. I always feel the need to be moving. I have to be accomplishing something. Yet somehow I feel as if nothing is ever done. I am just treading water. I stare into the fog this morning wanting to roll over and just shut it all out. I don't want to feel, or work through the day. I have an early morning meeting, the kids school ... View Post
Even In the Storm. . . There Is A Promise
The rain falls. Heavy at times. Keeping rhythm on the tin roof. Drip. Drip. Drip. The beat of a drum. Constant and steady. A sound I miss dreadfully. The missing heavy. Deep within; the longing. I shut my eyes to listen. To the sounds. Grief sneaks up silently. Catches you unaware. It is all around. It is rent a Senior Day. How can it be a year? It seems like yesterday. So funny. So missed. There is no way around this pain. It hurts. It stinks. No matter how I try to shake off the pain. We step forward. Trusting, ... View Post
When You’re Behind Before The Day Has Even Started
The dishwasher hums because I forgot to start it last night. The washing machine whirls because for some reason it stopped full of water. Sometimes our water pressure isn't strong enough and it will stop mid cycle. So I start the dishwasher, get the washing machine going. And I already feel behind. There is laundry and a bag to fill. There is quiet to find and bills to pay; children to teach, a farmer to love. We all have the pull of the urgent. The feeling of being behind. We are defeated before we even start. Steven Curtis Chapman's ... View Post
When The Snow Piles High And The Drifts Impassable
Pushing through the dark. Looking for the light. Holding tight the truth. Letting go the fear. Wondering how this new life works. Digging deep for strength. Resting in the One. Reaching for Hope. This journey continues to stretch me to the fullest. Each day, I seek to rest not in the what if's, but in the what I knows. When all is shaking around me, there is a calm. An assurance so sweet. The snow piles high and the drifts impassable. The wind howls. But yet the farmer presses on. The cows are milked. The rhythm of the day continues. It is that rhythm ... View Post
The Partner That Brings Grace To Your Movements
Sometimes I just want off this road. I've said it before. To me it seems hard. At each door there is pain and heart ache. It's another journey to process and move through. There is a dance while moving through pain. The movements can be stiff and awkward. Or they can be smooth and graceful. When you walk hand in hand with a partner skilled in guiding the way; the movements become fluid. I want things to be fluid. I long for movements that are graceful. What is it that creates the graceful out of the chaos? Who called order into the cosmic ... View Post
When The Wind Howls, How Will Your Structure Stand?
The temperatures have warmed. The wind howls, creating a recipe for an icy landscape. With each gust, shutters pull from the house, the tin loosens on the barn's rafters. I wonder just how long it will be before they are torn from their structures. The constant berating; weakening the structure unless careful attention is taken. These needs have been set aside as flooding, death and cancer cry for the immediate. The effects of neglect apparent. Integrity of structure compromised. Sometimes the end doesn't seem in sight. It ... View Post
