It's been 3 months. 3 months of not my will but thine. The seasons have turned. Time . . .has marched on. "We will mark time now with the date. Not a day of the week. Though Saturday evenings into the wee hours of Sunday will forever be etched in my soul." I do not like this journey any better after 3 months. It does not feel comfortable. It is abrasive and unsettling. Isiah 55:8-9 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”declares the Lord.9 “As the heavens are ... View Post
Great is Thy Faithfulness, Even when Trusting is Hard
Great is Thy Faithfulness. Psalm 46:10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” We are to be still. Even when our hearts are breaking. Even when Saturday nights leave me undone. Re-living each moment. Not wanting the other kids to be out. I am stepping into fear. And forgetting to trust. 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. He knows us. He created us. I ... View Post
This Road is Hard, and Long
Psalm 13 How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? Consider and hear me, O Lord my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death; Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved. But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the Lord, ... View Post
There is A Season
One of Gary's Uncles drops off an article he has had since 1974. It is an article about Gary and the farm. I sit and read this old news. Gary is 18. The age our son never saw. Funny how pieces of the past draw you in. Popovers and Oatmeal for breakfast this morning. Elijah did not like popovers. I can't remember how he felt about oatmeal. I always had to ask the kids to remind me what they liked. I walk out of the bedroom. It is warm. We have heat in the house. Such little things. Yet so important. I listen to the messages on ... View Post
Be Still My Soul, As the Waves of Grief Come
Psalm 63:1 O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you.My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for youin this parched and weary land where there is no water.I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory.Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you!I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer.You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you ... View Post
Crystal’s Birthday and Living Water
John 4:14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." It's Crystal's birthday. She is 19 today. She sent me a text. She says she doesn't want to turn 19. She is 19 and he is forever 17. . . I breathe in deep. The pain sears my heart. This is hard. This hurts. It is one thing to deal with your own pain; but the effect on your children and their friends. . .and Crystal. . . rocks me. Elijah had a ... View Post
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