He's cleaning out. . . his room. My farmer. Spending time in his son's room. Picking through the pieces of a life. A life interrupted. Abruptly. I am left numb. Head gear for Wrestling. His uniform. Still here. A procrastinator; like me. Things we need to return. Dry Erase markers for his white board. His attempt to get organized. His belt. I finger the holes. One by one. I don't want this to be my walk. The burning creeps toward my heart. It feels like it is too much to ... View Post
Even In the Storm. . . There Is A Promise
The rain falls. Heavy at times. Keeping rhythm on the tin roof. Drip. Drip. Drip. The beat of a drum. Constant and steady. A sound I miss dreadfully. The missing heavy. Deep within; the longing. I shut my eyes to listen. To the sounds. Grief sneaks up silently. Catches you unaware. It is all around. It is rent a Senior Day. How can it be a year? It seems like yesterday. So funny. So missed. There is no way around this pain. It hurts. It stinks. No matter how I try to shake off the pain. We step forward. Trusting, ... View Post
I’ve Never Tried To Be A Good Parent. . . Until Now
I want to be the best parent I can. I don't think this has ever occurred to me. Not that I wanted to be a poor parent. I just did what needed to be done. I didn't think about it. When the kids were little I taught. There wasn't much time for anything. I haven't really looked to others. Honestly. I didn't have that great of a relationship with my mom. Yes, it's true. God helped us to make it what it became. So, I just did the opposite of what she did. Yes, it's true too. Oh, there are some things that have been ... View Post
Are You Hurting? He Longs To Hold You.
Today is Day #14 of Radiation. He is half way through Chemo. The side effects have been minimal. . .up until now. This week they have begun to wield their wrath. It began with a metallic taste and now has moved to no taste or having a foul taste. This is a man who rarely, if at all, complains. Ok, rarely, if at all speaks. But he rarely complains. He pushes on no matter what. He is driven; in work, faith, commitment. There is a danger in this. Success of treatments needs a healthy body. He needs to eat and drink. Today I will begin trying ... View Post
Is Your Heart in a Delicate Balance Today?
It is a delicate balance for my weary heart. To embrace the joy that comes with new life. .. yet still longing for the one called home too soon. . . Oh be still my aching heart. Quiet the desire to see my son. Help me turn to praise; hold at bay the yearning. Turn it all to Jesus. Take from me the hurt. I surrender it all. God your presence is all I need. Be still the desire to hear the drums. . . Be still. Psalm 46:10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the ... View Post
