I didn't know her well. Only through birthday parties, drop off or pick ups during custody exchanges. I only knew her through visiting at the grocery store or the Thrift shop. I knew her smile and her love for Chelsea and her infatuation with Christiana; the mini Chelsea. I knew her caring nature in recognizing Elijah's desire to enter the military and the beautiful card and gift she sent for his graduation. One I had to take care of after he had been called home. I know of her intent to hold my hand when my son was called home so suddenly. She too, no stranger to the loss of a child. ... View Post
Grace That Visits Your Door, When Your Heart Is Breaking On Christmas Day
I don't want to say we made it through the day. But we did. How do you celebrate Christmas with your 17 year old son buried deep beneath the winter snow? How do you breathe in and out missing a part of you? How do you look at stockings and open presents; when your heart is shattered into a millions fragments. My boy is gone. And I miss him so much. But he has gone where Angels trod. The same Angels that proclaimed the birth of the Most High, The same Angels that declared that He is Risen. His work finished, here on this ... View Post
Hope, Where Do You FInd It?. . . .Day #3 of Thankfulness
I love to hear the rain on the tin roof. There is something so soothing. I have fond memories of sitting with Chelsea on the porch. Reading stories, listening to the summer storms. One night, when she was little, we slept outside, on the porch. It was so much fun. It was so cold in the morning. Her daddy had headed to the barn, so it was just the two of us to keep warm. All the kids love the rain on the roof. When I was pregnant with Eleanor; Gary, Elijah and Cedric carried the TV and VCR up to the hay mow and we watched a movie up there. This was ... View Post
With Whom do I Wrestle?
My heart is wounded. I am tired. This path is wrought with grief and pain. The only way out is through. One needs to wrestle through the memories. Through the future that will never be; snatched away. I've been robbed. Robbed of graduation from Marine Corps Boot Camp, robbed of the future of our son. And it hurts. I can't change it. No matter the longing, it will never be. Yet my wounded heart is held in the palm of the hand of the One who created us. And as I wrestle each day with the reality of never ... View Post
The Honor of being the Ugly Step Mom. . .who came up with that term anyway?
Today she turns 26. She came into my world in a different way. Her blue eyes and precious smile captivated me right away. Her long blonde hair flowing in the breeze. Her hand tucked snugly into mine. Bedtime stories and afternoon walks. These stole my heart. Along with the father who loved her so. Years of Field Hockey games, homework, playdates, road trips to see her in college; all done now. That precious young child has grown into a beautiful woman. All the girls. And then a wonderful young man stole her heart. But ... View Post
