I stand still in the kitchen. I have cried out to God most of the day. I am tired of cancer. I am tired of missing my son. My soul is unsettled and I long for peace. So I stand. In the kitchen that I hardly use any more. Meals continue to come. I have little to offer. My soul weary from the battle. So I stand. It is quiet. I breathe deep. I sense the presence of God. The peace that passes all understanding surrounds me. For a moment the cancer is gone, the sting of death is appeased. I stand for a moment ... View Post
We Press On, In Jesus Name
It's the moment just before I wake. Just before my eyes open that it all weighs down. The magnitude of loss, the reality of cancer, finances hanging in the balance. It is in those same moments that the battle for the day wages. My whole being wants to burrow down in; refuse to go on. How can I? When all I have known is changed. All that I was created to be has been ripped from me. The day to day has changed for ever and the future for one, decided. A mommy shouldn't have to bury their child. It is ... View Post
Do You Ever Wonder What We Are Doing Here?
Do you wonder sometimes what it all means? I sometimes wonder. What are we doing here? What is my purpose. All this pain and uncertainty. What do I do with it? What is the purpose for each of these weary steps. Yet, I am amazed at the lessons learned and the things for which I am thankful. My farmer's side effects have been minimal. It is early still and someone reminded us that it is all cumulative. Still, it has been minimal. Today. We are half way through the treatments. Maybe not half way through the side effects, but half ... View Post
Pressing On Through; God Will Make A Way
Before I had even finished writing my last post, I received word that Cheslea's Grandmother had died on New Year's Eve. She was at a party. Just fine. And had a heart attack; Just like that. In a year when we have experienced so much heart ache. This feels like too much. What do you do when you feel like at every corner you're knocked down? When life is relentless in it's burden. How do you live when all is heavy and weighted down? There is no option for surrender. The only option is to press on. Press on towards that goal. Take a moment to ... View Post
