The water pours in the end of the freestall barn. The beds are soaked. Not one cow will want those stalls. They will become like concrete. The fuel runs out in the tenants house. A mistake made. The feed is poor quality so the cows are dropping in milk. The bills remain the same. On top of that it snowed and the sun never showed it's face. Really there is no relief in sight; another storm predicted for this weekend. It's almost April. And I wonder why the farmer is depressed? I can feel it deep down. I am going to ... View Post
Grace That Visits Your Door, When Your Heart Is Breaking On Christmas Day
I don't want to say we made it through the day. But we did. How do you celebrate Christmas with your 17 year old son buried deep beneath the winter snow? How do you breathe in and out missing a part of you? How do you look at stockings and open presents; when your heart is shattered into a millions fragments. My boy is gone. And I miss him so much. But he has gone where Angels trod. The same Angels that proclaimed the birth of the Most High, The same Angels that declared that He is Risen. His work finished, here on this ... View Post
Are You Overwhelmed By All The Christmas To Do’s? Why Don’t You Lay It All Down. . .Just For A Moment?
I sit on his bed. It's been 20 weeks since God called Elijah's name. I breathe in, hoping for a change in circumstances. Hoping to catch a scent. But there's nothing. He is not here and what remains is fading. It's been 20 weeks since I have seen his face or touched the child I bore down to bring life. Longer than he would have been gone to boot camp; and it's only the beginning of the "longer thans". Each time the girls remember something about him. I ask them to tell me more. Describe to me in detail what they saw or were feeling. I don't ... View Post
What Cancer Cannot Do and What God Has Already Done; The Angels Brought Tidings Of Great Joy
He had just sat down to rest. Lately this rarely happens. There are so many fires to put out that resting has not been a luxury. After two days of radiation and one day of chemo, my farmer was sitting down. Cedric brings in a package. There are always parts and supplies being delivered. Yet, this was from our long time friends Donna and Harold. Elijah's God parents. Donna had sent a note early on when Gary was diagnosed and found he needed chemo and radiation. She thought he might like a quilt. A quilt to wrap in ... View Post
What A Diner, Radiation and Errands Can Do For Your Marriage
We arrive early. Yes, we were early. Gary assured the attendant at the desk that this would never happen again. We choose our seats. It is still quiet in this place. We gaze around the room. We are surprised to see a fully decorated Christmas Tree AND a table full of goodies. Crackers and cheese. Various Christmas delicacies. This is our welcome to Day #1 of radiation. They call Gary. He has a plate of food. They ask him if he wants them to come and get him later. He pauses. I assure them that we want him to go. . . now. He ... View Post
3 Roses, 3 Years. . .Not Quite
3 Roses. 3 years. . .not quite. I see them silhouetted against the white back drop. How does an 18 year old journey without her future? All she held dear; wrapped in a red headed boy that stole her heart; now lies deep beneath the earth. Buried with her hopes and dreams. Her memories her only solace. In time, she will move on. She will continue to live; and all this, some day, will be a shadow of who she once was. It will be part of her story. Of what makes her who she is. This young girl has become so dear to my ... View Post
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