I Still Struggle, 30 Days of Thankfulness, Day #12

I still struggle with being Thankful.
Even after 12 days of intentionally naming my gratitude I still default to complaining.
It’s been 5 years of posting 30 Days of Thankfulness and trying to practice gratitude and I still mess up.
I feel the whirling, churning.

I struggle.
I get myself so wound up at times I miss the thankful;  I forget. 
It’s like I have soul amnesia.
My focus becomes so narrow, I never see what might be right beside me.

I’d like to think that I caught the whirling and churning earlier than I may have in the past.
I stopped the thoughts.
I turned to Thankfulness. 

Honestly, it’s not authentic at first.

I struggle.
It’s a default.
I practice.
Slowly,  my heart follows the words I say.
Praise flows from the heart.

Psalm 8:2
Through the praise of children and infants you have established
a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.

God longs for us to turn our thoughts towards him.
My circumstances didn’t change.
The weight of this world still weighs heavy on my heart.

I long for so many burdens to be lifted.
Yet, they remain.
But the focus of my heart can be turned.
It takes practice. 
I struggle.

With all of my being I will work towards a more grateful heart.
What if we all silenced the negative thoughts?
What if we all thought about the words we said?
Is it necessary?
Our Pastor used to ask his kids, “Are you knocking, or building up?”

Do you knock someone down with your words?
Or are you building up someone?
I want to have eyes that see the beauty in all things. 
Even the hard.
I struggle.
So I will practice.
Practice Gratitude at every turn.
I hope you will join in.

Day #12 of Thankfulness

I am Thankful for:

time for long conversations
the days last week that were quiet and slow
nights together watching Christmas movies
Worship
music
second chances
A loving and just God
A God who leaves the Ninety Nine to pursue the One
crisp, cold mornings
answers in Gods timing
steaming cups of coffee and folks who dig deep into the gospel
the desire to learn
books and those that write them
a warm home
the Ancient Word

Come join in on this Thankful journey.
I obviously need a lot of practice.