Federal Inspections.
They’re nerve racking.
They run between a few dates.
You have to be ready.
The field man comes ahead of time.
He shows you areas of trouble.
Areas that can be of concern.
Shipping milk is our life.
If we are shut down it would be disastrous.
Things are so tight; there’s no room for error.
My farmer takes this all in stride.
I stress.
I am not a stresser.
But lately I feel that way.
Everything makes me jumpy or wigged out.
The inspectors come.
We pass with flying colors.
A perfect score to be exact.
I wish I had spent my time differently.
Not so tense.
I feel as if I am poised for the worst.
All the time.
When did this creep in?
I am sure. . . over time.
It’s so easy to walk into the tense moments.
To forget to trust.
To rely on our own strength.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.
Now that the inspection is complete.
We’re tackling a list of overdue repairs.
Again.
The list seems daunting.
I feel myself tense.
I’m reactive.
Our health insurance has been cancelled.
I need to use Vermont Health Connect and I don’t want to.
I don’t feel up to the task of searching.
I have other deadlines.
The holidays are coming.
Which I LOVE.
But I miss my mom, my son, and now my dad.
So.
Frankly.
I’m a mess.
A mess that wants to wallow and stay put.
A mess that laughs, cries and snorts all in a matter of moments.
My poor farmer.
A heap of a mess.
A mess though, that is loved.
Dearly, loved.
By a Creator.
He called me by Name.
He wrote my Name on his hand.
Isaiah 49:16
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.
He walks this journey with me.
He is aware of my derailing.
He sits and waits.
He longs for my return; to him.
This mess that I have created.
That.
My friends.
Is Good News.
Psalm 147:
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
He takes the broken and mends the pieces.
He waits for the lost.
He invites the poor and shattered.
With open arms.
He waits.
Day #3 I am Thankful for:
A God who never lets me go
my messy, weary journey
laughing, crying, snorting all at the same time mess
my farmer who stands strong
A farm boy who is so strong willed
A new day to begin again
Baking bread; it helps everything-especially the eating part
doing my SIL’s laundry
Federal Inspections
the trials that lead me to the cross
16 more days until I see the college girl
Grace
Hope, that leads me forward each day
We hope you will join us on this journey.
This song ministers to my weary heart.
In my present emotional state it makes me cry, laugh and snort all at the same time.
May you be blessed by the words.
Flawless
By MercyMe
No matter the hurt
Or how deep the wound is
No matter the pain
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
